Running with Derek (Scissors)

There is an excellent book called Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs which tells the story of a difficult and bizarre childhood and how the events of growing up shaped the future. The entertaining story and title implies the danger inherent in running with scissors. Such is how I feel running with Derek.

A friend of my youngest son, Derek, age 24, recently took a job in Abilene and asked if he could stay with us a few weeks while he looks for an apartment and gets his finances in order. Happy to oblige, Derek moved into our guest bedroom and became part of our family. He is a pleasant young man, recently graduated from college, has a strong work ethic, a pleasant personality, and is committed to excellence in everything he does. In both high school and college, he ran cross-country and was considered a star on the team. He runs with style and grace, seemingly exerting little effort as he puts on mile after mile. He embraces running and exercise with euphoria and seeks the runners "high" that comes with comfort in the pain. He is a natural and a joy to watch whether down the road or running through a park. Like all fine athletes, he seems born to exercise and wastes little motion in his efforts. His limbs and torso appear totally relaxed and running for him looks as comfortable as the rest of us look in an easy chair.

So why am I trying to run with Derek in the mornings? It is like playing basketball with Kobe Bryant or writing music with Mozart or sharing comedy with Jim Gaffigan or preaching alongside Billy Graham. Each morning at about 6:15 we take off together, me an overweight, 55 year old bald man who is on blood pressure medication and a blood thinner, and Derek the Gazelle. Yet 3 miles is not that long, surely this will not be a problem.

We start together in a fairly slow, loping stride that seems to increase in velocity every few feet. Soon I am breathing hard and wondering about my own wisdom in running with Derek. Not intending to push me at all, Derek simply runs the way he naturally feels. In my immature effort to keep up, I find myself nearing the breaking point. We are halfway through the run and my chest is heaving, my legs aching, and the sweat threatens to blur my vision. But wait...up ahead...a stopping place. Yes, I am greatly relieved to find a necessary facility for a brief break.

Wanting to extend the break but knowing I don't have much of an excuse, we once again take off. Soon a fast pace, hard breathing, sore legs, misery compounded upon misery. We continue running and he leaves me, impatiently needing to run faster and further. I remind myself that slow and steady wins the race. What race? I am not racing anybody and refuse to give in to the temptation to compete with the lanky 24 year old.

Yet I look ahead and see him running gracefully toward the final goal...home. I keep plugging away and finally put on some serious speed, at least for me, and sprint toward home. Rounding the corner, he is waiting with a smile on his face. We high five and the run is over but not my anger. But is it really anger and if it is anger, to whom is it directed? Myself? Mostly. Derek? Not really. My age and my lack of athleticism? Perhaps.

No I am not really angry at all, just frustrated that I work so hard for such little gain. Going back in the house, I am drenched with sweat, gasping for air, can barely make it up the stairs, and the slightest effort even to turn on the shower hurts. Shower, shave, get dressed and I go downstairs to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and breakfast. Couple of eggs later and I am still sweating a little. But the euphoria of the hard run is starting to set in. Feeling happy, relaxed, and confident, I head to work. Running with Derek is a challenge to be sure and I just feel like grabbing him and saying, "I am 55, you are 24, go easy on me!" But I also want to thank him for making me stronger, healthier, and making me realize I can always go faster and further with effort. Still...hard to do but I suppose it is good for me!

The Church Pipe Organ

Days gone by and they may not return. Book collecting, drive-in movies, horse and buggy, typewriters, but what about the pipe organ? Are we experiencing the ultimate demise of one of the greatest musical instruments of all time? Or perhaps just a temporary downturn in interest at least to a point. Not sure.

I drove to a small town outside of Abilene and played the piano for a church service. It was a nice service with great people and the grand piano was old but in tune. We mostly sang hymns and older choruses. Everyone was appreciative. Joel played a hymn for the Benediction on the pipe organ and people suddenly got excited. A church member asked if I were interested in the history of the organ and I said yes. She promptly returned with a 3 page history of the marvelous instrument. I felt her emotion of the love of the instrument and the sincere appreciation she demonstrated regarding my interest.

Truly it is a marvelous instrument in the small church. Warm tone, well-made, visually appealing, wonderful sounds, and rich quality, the organ deserves to be played and experienced by all. Quite an instrument and deserving of our admiration, our attention, and our love.

But it stays silent week after week, used no more, weeping silent tears of rejection. There is nobody to play it, few to hear it, and fewer still that know anything about it. The beauty of the instrument is found in the sound, yet I suspect most people consider it a museum piece or a work of visual art not to be heard.  Such is true of organs all over the country, particularly in small towns and small churches. Trained musicians, however, have a respect for the instrument, and they tend to love the strength and majesty of a great pipe organ. What about non-musicians? Maybe to an extent but often not in any kind of substantial way unless a strong tradition has been established. Of course there are pockets of people who love the king of all instruments and will rush to hear a great organist on a great organ at every opportunity. These people keep the instrument alive and hold on to a tradition of organ playing that dates back hundreds of years.

Ironically, organ makers are doing well overall. There are still instruments sold and new pipe organs are sought after from many churches. Quality organists are coming out of our universities and conservatories and finding positions in large churches. There are several successful concert artists and the high quality of the American Guild of Organists journal is a testament to the love and admiration society still maintains for the organ and organists.

Nevertheless, in spite of the segments of success and the sincere love people claim to have for the organ, there remains a problem. It is in decline. Small towns and small churches have quality organs not being used, gathering dust, dying a long slow death associated with atrophy. People are painfully aware of the profound loss of the organ but are poignantly aware of their own helplessness to change it. To be sure, playing the organ requires a specialized skill. Players need to know how to combine sounds, use pedals, move from note to note, and alter sounds depending on the needs of the music. In addition to the normal musical requirements of reading music, playing rhythms accurately, and understanding how phrases, dynamics, and articulation serve the musical needs, an organist must know so much more and be able to impart that knowledge through sound.

Maybe some of the decline is due to the demands of playing an organ. Society is notorious for not paying musicians enough and the lack of adequate compensation could be contributing to a lack of players. Organs themselves are cantankerous and develop problems over time. Pipe organs require regular maintenance and tuning and electronic organs frequently need attention to ensure mechanical success. Then there is the sheer cost itself of a quality organ. Large pipe organs can easily be in the millions and cost thousands each year to maintain.

But I must ask, is there anything more aesthetically satisfying than hearing a great hymn played by a skilled organist on a terrific instrument? Or a Bach Toccata or any number of French turn of the century organ works? The variety of sounds found in a pipe organ is astounding and in the hands of a master, a pipe organ can provide a musical experience unlike any other. If this is true, and I believe it is, why do we have a problem at all?

Like most declines and expansions, it is hard to determine. The invisible hand of the marketplace ultimately wins the race every time as the passing of time demonstrates the worth of the product. If the commodity has no customer, it will no longer be useful. If the organ has no audience and no participants, it serves no function. It is people who will kill the organ or who will raise it to its rightful place as the king of instruments. Right now the signs point toward death...only time will tell.

Songs in my Head

I always have a song in my head. Serious or silly, profound or trite, I draw from many years of performing, listening, and being a musician. Growing up with singing parents, my brother and I were thoroughly immersed in music of all types, shapes, genres, and purpose. I am comfortable in a wide variety of genres and styles including pop, rock, country, gospel, folk, art music from all over the world, children's music, sacred and contemporary, and the list continues.

A song can fit any kind of mood, creative thought, intellectual moment, wisdom, or fit an emotional need. I do not really have a favorite song although I find myself thinking about and humming Liebestod by Richard Wagner more often than most songs. It is not really a song (definition: vocal selection generally based on a short poem or text, usually accompanied by piano or small instrumental ensemble) in that it uses a very large orchestra and is extensive. But it is no longer than Stairway to Heaven or Hey Jude--both great songs and I have heard Hey Jude accompanied by an orchestra. Every song by Britten or Barber is a winner. Being a product of the 70s and early 80s, I still like Come Sail Away, Just You and Me, and Carry on My Wayward Son.

My love of the music of Brahms means I often hear a Brahms melody in my head...not really a song I guess. But I also enjoy Rosanna by Toto, A Very Special Love Song by Charlie Rich, Always by Bon Jovi, Let It Go from Frozen, and the list goes on and on. I sincerely love You are My Sunshine, Streets of Laredo, the Davy Crockett song, theme from the first Bob Newhart show, and the theme from Room 222. Music by Mahler is terrific and who can't help but enjoy the tone poems of Richard Strauss. I still love the music of Rachmaninoff and Sibelius and am continually moved by the music of Machaut and Messiaen.

Love hymns and could sing My Jesus, I Love Thee everyday. But I also really like Crown Him (Majesty) by Chris Tomlin and Oceans by Hillsong, Who Am I by Casting Crowns, and Lord, I Need You by Chrs Tomlin. Holy, Holy, Holy is a marvelous hymn and It is Well with My Soul continues to reach people. Every song by Ken Medema is a winner and the rich harmony of music by Ralph Carmichael continues to fascinate me.

Broadway: too many to list. Songs from West Side Story, Sound of Music, Kiss Me Kate, Les Miserables, Phantom, Jekyll and Hyde, Wicked, and about 30 other musicals! Best Broadway tune...maybe So in Love by Cole Porter or Night and Day. Maybe Somethings Coming or Ten Minutes ago from Cinderella. Speaking of Cinderella, how about In My Own Little Corner...great song. One of my favorites is I Could Have Danced All Night from My Fair Lady. Also who can forget Ol' Man River from Showboat...wow. Of course, I think In Summer from Frozen is hilarious and Cruella Deville from 101 Dalmations is a vibrant jazz tune. Windmills of Your Mind and I Will Wait for You are great songs as is Someone Saved My Life Tonight.

Okay...a brief listing of some of my favorites. But my favorite tends to be whatever I am listening to or studying. I think I lean toward music with a singable melody, harmonic interest, rhythmic punch, piano background, and clever text.

The Discarded Book

Several weeks of stressful situations and I was not in a very forgiving mood. Between student problems, angry faculty, frequent criticism, and concern about the future, I was not at my leadership best when I walked into the classroom. Seeing the same Geography book on the piano that had been there for several weeks disturbed me. It was a large paperback textbook and looked as though it had been used to prop something up or support another object. It was not in great shape and almost seemed like a large magazine to me. I once again asked the class why the book was there and to whom it belonged. Nobody knew.

Students are notorious for leaving things out and not taking care of business. We often find jackets, books, cases, and general items throughout the buildings in various locations. Always being sensitive to ownership, we try to take the item to the office, waiting for the owner to claim the item. But this particular day, I did not feel very warm toward the owner of the book. Assuming it had been forgotten, I picked it up and discarded it in the trash. As a book collector, I generally do not have much regard for paperback books due to their being mass produced and containing little inherent value. Had the book been a hardback, I likely would have been more considerate. Just trying to justify my actions a little.

But the truth is that I was wrong and did something a teacher should not do. I discarded the book, a despicable act at best. The act of a madman. Perhaps deep down I thought I was teaching the other students a lesson of some kind to take care of their belongings and be more responsible. Or perhaps I was reminding everyone to keep the building organized. Maybe my general disdain and misguided feelings toward paperbacks influenced me beyond reason. The likely reason, however, is that I expressed my stress in an inappropriate manner ill-fitting for any teacher and particularly heinous for an academic Dean. Somewhere in this true tale a psychologist would probably point out that my frustrations with academia in general and the tension of trying to be a successful dean, led me to discard the very reason I entered academia in the first place--a burning desire to learn more. Maybe my actions stemmed from childhood when I tended to act impulsively rather than cognitively. Maybe my moment of throwing away a book symbolized my frustrations with my own career and caused me to give up, at least momentarily.

Several hours after my act, I felt the guilt grow. Waking up in the middle of the night, I could almost feel the pain in me as I reflected on my actions. Did I really throw away a book? Why? To what end? I went to my personal library of over a 1,000 collectible books ranging from fiction to history to various topics and thought about my actions even more. The next day a young lady came to my office and asked for the lost and found. I mentioned that we did not have one but I would be glad to look for what she was seeking. She said she left a Geography book in a classroom and had used it to support a leg on a table. She was renting the book and needed to return it. I felt my desire to fabricate the truth jump into my head. I actually had an opportunity to claim ignorance or blame someone else. But, as usual, the truth prevailed and I told her what I had done. She humbly admitted she was wrong to have left it in the room and she left my office with a tear in her eye.

Guilt compounded upon guilt and soon I found myself emailing her to contact me so I could make restitution. I am hoping to find her and pay for the book or buy a new one. My guilt is now somewhat assuaged but not my own awareness of my mistake. In trying to teach a lesson to students, I taught one to myself. How often does this happen to us in academia? We have a serious responsibility to teach students and an obligation to move them from the known to the unknown, to empower them to learn on their own, to provide the skills and the tools to be successful in the world. To teach them to think critically, examine issues, analyze situations, love learning, apply their knowledge to a discipline. To be better people.

We have all done things we regret and often we wish to travel back in time to fix a mistake. Such is true of me. Yet there is no going back, only going forward. I make it my mantra to love learning in all its forms and avoid overreacting to a small situation. The responsibility to be a model example of excellence shimmers within me even more. Such is academic leadership, to strive to be a better person, a better teacher, and a wise leader.

Academic Leadership

As a young, eager music student in 1980, I was fascinated by the sound of our college choir. After one particular and spectacular performance, I approached the director and asked him how he achieved such musical excellence from his choirs. He said he imagines the goal in his head and then works relentless to achieve that goal. He then admitted he had never attained the vision in his head but he would not give up until he reached it. Such is my practice and philosophy of academic leadership.

Obviously accreditation and legal compliance guide much of our decision making process and we must constantly be alert to how our actions fit the requirements of our respondent agencies. This makes leadership about benchmarking and compliance, aiming for targets and satisfying the core requirements. Such becomes the trappings of academic leadership--seeking and accomplishing accreditation requirements. But somehow in spite of the necessity of meeting all requirements, leadership that is solely about accreditation is not really high quality leadership. For leadership to be meaningful, it must involve people, communication, and purpose.

As we examine the myriad of activities and responsibilities expected in academic leadership, it often becomes beneficial to reduce out the peripheral and innocuous while prolonging and prioritizing the substantive. It is in the analysis of the substantive that we find the people and make decisions that serve the most constituents. This requires a great deal of listening to others and facilitating broad communication through team-building, shared governance, and consensus development. This is a process of inspiration about the vision and motivation to accomplish the purpose. When we set forth the vision, academic leaders must then consider how to use teams to inspire and motivate.

Among the theories of leadership to which I subscribe, including practical, transactional, behavioral, participatory, and influence, I propose that the best leaders use the system that serves the greatest good and the vision. My approach to leadership is to practice Total Quality Management as much as possible in a structured and comprehensive style that embraces data, perception, and specific goals. Application of TQM style encompasses an eclectic mix of styles with the idea of prolonging excellence in all areas and reducing out the problems not serving the vision.

In a Christian context, and we desire this context in our lives and in our workplace, leaders must lead with integrity, honesty, transparency, and inspiration in all matters, serving as a model example of excellence in both lifestyle and profession. Retaining faith and discipline in both vision and in practice are essential qualities for success in academic leadership. As Christian Leaders in academia we have a responsibility to lead positively with compassion, kindness, forgiveness, and strength.

A little dull

Kind of felt boring this weekend. I did not accomplish much nor have any substantial goals. Wrote a few emails, thought through the future, ran several miles, read a book, watched a couple of shows, a little yard work, took a Udemy course, and in general did not do much. Maybe this is okay every once in a while, but it also makes me feel unproductive.

Reading: as I have mentioned in earlier blogs, I enjoy reading and have read about two books per week for most of my life since I was about 7 years old I believe. My wonderful parents instilled in me a love of reading and I still feel the quickening of my pulse when I am around books of all types. My fiction reading generally leans on crime dramas or detective mysteries while my non-fiction preferences are for money management or history. I do occasionally dive into spiritual books or self-improvement ideas and am not afraid to read various ideas for different types of development. But I do tend to read crime fiction quickly but to read history slowly.

Finishing up the latest David Baldacci book while being halfway through the latest Jonathan Kellerman book, I am ready to read something a little more substantive. I did enjoy The Nightingale quite a bit and found The Lake House to be well-written and meaningful. I continue to enjoy books about the economy and money although some of those are hard to get all the way through. I am enjoying Cold Case Christianity and find it to be a fascinating approach to apologetics. Yet I do not really need convincing and am a flawed but devout believer. Still it is well-written and provides some tools for dealing with the occasional detractor. The recent Baldacci book has a fun and engaging plot but the dialog seems rather 4th grade and simplistic at times. He writes a good story but seems to water it down to reach a broader audience. I am not critical of this...after all he has a right to try to sell more copies, but it makes me want to read Dickens or Hardy and seek after depth of characterization. One can read an entire Baldacci book and not really know the emotional depth or complexities of the people in the book. It makes for a little too much detachment toward the people.

I did enjoy running this weekend and did a crazy thing on Sunday. I ran nearly 3 miles Sunday morning and felt good about it. Took a nice nap Sunday afternoon and went for another 3 mile run. But this time it turned into a half walk as I struggled with the hot sun and wind. This morning I am very sore from the extra miles and may need to take a day off from running.

It was fun playing my horn in church and I am playing well once again. I have been in a three year slump due to the earlier hospitalization, surgery on my thumb, and teeth reconstruction. But now I am moving around the horn better and almost have the tone I am seeking. Mainly I am rediscovering my old horn confidence and am ready to play in public again. Feels good. Keep in mind that musicians, horn players in particular, are a neurotic bunch who tend to allow their performance skills to govern their emotional state. It makes for a complicated and inconsistent emotional roller coaster at times. When playing or singing well, we are happy. When things are not working, sad. Kind of a mess I know.

My brother's recent article on Prince, David Bowie, and musical snobbery really intrigued me. He is such an amazing writer with perceptions about the world rarely encountered in our segmented society. https://fee.org/articles/prince-bowie-and-how-not-to-be-a-snob-about-pop-music/ is certainly worth a read. Jeff has written thousands of articles and each one contains a nice balance of opinion, data, and philosophy. This one reminds us of the pitfalls of snobbery and the problems of not taking a comprehensive and knowledgeable position when it comes to music. Too many trained musicians reject the popular, believing erroneously that it must be cheap or worthless to be popular. I really have little regard for snobbery and prefer to live in an eclectic world, embracing multiple styles and approaches to art.

Anyway, I apologize for this dull entry of various thoughts. I'll try to improve my excitement level in the future.

Lost Art but still needed

Meetings are generally a waste of time and energy, often resulting in a verbal onslaught of opinions that may or may not be germane to the topic. I run meetings in a style that is similar to my personality, a little controlling while valuing others, informal, and informational. I prefer short meetings to the point that are productive and beneficial. But my style is not working. Time to change. This is a difficult acknowledgement however, in that I have spent a career in public school and higher education in various leadership capacities. I suppose success is debatable but I have achieved a modicum of success as a leader. Why is my system not longer effective?

There comes a time when a person can no longer be completely dependent on his or her own personality for success. Willpower, charisma, and personality can carry the day for only so long before they begin to crumble without a foundation. Recognizing that I and I alone cannot make a perfect meeting, I have decided it is time to use an established and effective system: Parliamentary Procedure. Not being a Thomas Jefferson fan (read earlier blog), I will admit that he did have some good ideas for meetings and wrote one of the first books on how to run a meeting, A Manual of Parliamentary Practice. The informal meeting approach works well when surrounded by supportive friends all working for the same goals, but a formal procedure is necessary for accomplishing the serious business and the goals of the group or institution. Granted that a strict procedure can be inhibiting of creative thought and may prevent some new idea from rising to the top. Yet given that imagination rarely flows effectively in group settings, it makes sense to formalize larger gatherings and focus attention on the broader needs.

Having completed training for parliamentary procedure, I am ready to run a meeting according to the rules. I believe this will prevent the verbal excess that tends to erupt in meetings and refocus attention on the goals at hand. Fearing that parliamentary procedure is a lost art, I intend to bring it back and use it to its finest and I further believe we will see growth in group dynamics and new ideas flourish through a system designed for effectiveness and productivity. Like great music, parliamentary procedure deserves to live and is as vital today as it was in Colonial times. Such is the way of a leader, recognize when it is time to change a system and do what needs to be done.

5K in the Rain

For many years I have wondered why these collective runs for different reasons exist. Why should I pay $25 to run 3.1 miles when I can run 3.1 miles every morning for free? Plus if I like a certain charitable cause, why not just give to the cause directly rather than have to run as a consequence of giving? There is a cost to running anyway--sore body, tired, sweat, shaky legs, smelly clothes, and wear and tear on shoes. Does it make any sense to add to the cost by adding to the cost? Also I have always enjoyed the solitude of quiet morning runs with nobody near me. A time to listen to audio books, sing songs in my head, reflect on life, pray, listen to the sounds around me. All these and more remind me of the wonderful world in which we reside.

Yet last November some dear friends paid my way to participate in a Turkey Trot. Hesitating at first, I decided to give it whirl and run the Turkey Trot. At that time I was in pretty good shape but had no illusions about winning or beating a time or even thinking about speed. I simply wanted to run the whole way and not have to stop to use a facility. Probably seems a trite goal to most people but for me it is a serious one. Probably due to being on certain medicine for my tendency toward blood clots, I have to keep facilities nearby for frequent use. Running 3.1 miles without needing to stop sounds a little crazy to me and almost not possible without a good plan. Can it be done? Perhaps. Is it normal for me? Not at all.

Then there is the problem of people. Will I look funny to others? Will they get in the way? Are they rude or mean? Weird? Loud? Remember that I normally run in solitude not in groups. But I do enjoy the occasional "risk" of something new and running in a Turkey Trot was something new. I jumped in the water so to speak and ran the race. I did not win anything, did not make any effort to win, but generally had a good time. Saw some friends along the way, passed many people, was passed by many people, and finished. We all received a trophy and there were cheers upon arrival. All in all a good experience, but not something to replicate. Still...not as terrible as I expected. I noticed a wide variety of people--large and small, older and younger, friendly and quiet, just people. Nobody was mean, loud, obnoxious, rude and nobody got in anybody's way. Just runners out for some exercise. Some walked, some sprinted, some seemed competitive, most just seemed to have a good time.

Assessing the Turkey Trot, I decided to try again. Picking up my packet at the run center, I was intrigued with how many people were about to run on Saturday. It was for a good educational purpose and they provided a shirt, water bottle, and some energy gel. Not big on energy things, other than a good cup of coffee, I decided to avoid the gel. Saturday morning arrived and I walked to the starting line with the other several hundred people and got ready to run. Once again I noticed children, adults, elderly, young, babies in strollers, and all sizes of people.

The race began and I once again had very little sense of competitiveness in me. My goals remained the same, get through it without needing a facility! Plus it was cold and raining pretty hard.The first two miles seemed difficult and my breathing felt erratic and labored. My legs hurt and I felt generally grouchy about it all. I only knew a couple of other people among the crowds and children kept passing me by. But the 3rd mile started feeling good so I upped my speed and began to run smoother. I kept the pace and saw the end in sight. Faster still, I felt my body respond well to the push and suddenly I felt strong. Keeping it strong to the end, I knew I had actually done fairly well. Unfortunately I was soaked from head to toe in a mixture of rain and sweat. I was still cold and a little grouchy but the euphoria of the event was affecting my emotions as well. I wanted to cheer but that seemed a little self aggrandizing.

Time to walk home. A friend stopped me and said, "don't you want to stay for the awards?" "Of course not," I answered. After all, my goal had been met! Received a text later. Turns out that I won 3rd place in my age division. Having never won any kind of athletic event before, it now feels good. Maybe there is something to this group running idea. The event held me accountable, it pushed me to a new level, and I was rewarded with a ribbon. Good stuff!

Now it is the next day and I am sore from the experience. Legs hurt, hips sore, body tight. But for some reason, it feels good. May try the group run thing again.

McDonalds Accident

Coming out of McDonalds and holding breakfast for the family, I headed to my truck thinking about a minor work related issue. Started the truck and slowly backed out trying to avoid hitting the car parked to my right. Happy to clear it, I turned the wheel and reversed a little more so as to head out of the parking lot to the road. Suddenly I felt a bump and heard a noise. Thinking I had hit a trash can or some object in the parking lot, I got out of the truck only to discover I had hit a short brick wall. The warning tone that an object is in the way did not activate due to the shortness of the wall I guess. A quick assessment revealed about 10 bricks knocked out and pieces of concrete located in wrong places.
Returning inside McDonalds, I found the manager and gave him all my contact information and several apologies. He explained that it had happened about 100 times and most people simply drove away without leaving their name and number. I returned to the scene and studied on my mistake, justifying the accident based on the shortness of the wall and the lack of room to maneuver. Getting back in my truck and driving home with breakfast, I began to reflect on the event and realized that in the end, I was indeed negligent and should have been more aware of the wall. I chose to park in that spot and several years ago purchased a large truck that makes parking a challenge. I made the choices and therefore am to blame.

How often do we fool ourselves into believing we are free from responsibility? How often do we blame others for our own mistakes? How many times per week do we point fingers and avoid the honest personal reflection that makes us uncomfortable? It is much easier to blame others or to be angry at objects for getting in our path. I like blaming health issues or a lack of aptitude or the weather for problems that arise. It is fun to absolve myself of responsibility by claiming that I did nothing wrong and that the rest of the world is to blame.

While I did apologize for my mistake, in a way that is not really good enough. We can be sorry for the wrong things we do but it is only through some sort of punitive action that we receive redemption. Figuratively kicking myself may not be good enough to deter the poor driving or the wrong decisions. And so I wait for the phone call telling me what I owe McDonalds to fix their little brick fence and pay restitution for my crime. Perhaps I should try a different tactic: such as contacting an attorney and suing McDonalds for the emotional suffering I have experienced after hitting their little fence which is obviously in a bad place surrounding an inadequate parking lot. Yes...that's it! I can make a bunch of money off the restaurant and claim NO personal responsibility. I like it.

Yet even writing the words down causes a bad taste in my mouth. After all, in the end I am the one who drove poorly and caused the problem. An advocate for justice, truth, and responsibility, I encourage everyone to examine himself or herself in self-reflection, accepting responsibility when appropriate and always being honest.

Okay, sorry for the preaching. Now I need to figure out how to be a better driver!

Thomas Jefferson and Liberty

A recent visit to Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson, left me reeling with the inconsistencies of his life, his practice, and his worldview. As a mythical and historical creature, Thomas Jefferson represents all that is great about our country. His remarkable intelligence, work ethic, and constant devotion to the ideals set forth that shaped and expanded our country into what she is today--a powerful, compassionate, and highly productive society. From the Declaration of Independence to his remarkable acquisition of the Louisiana Purchase, Jefferson made his mark on history and will long be acknowledged as one of great leaders of the United States of America. The oft-quoted words, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" provide a guiding philosophy by which we built our country and continue to life our lives today.

We acknowledge the life and wisdom of Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States, who is deserving of our respect and admiration, a man with undeniable intellectual gifts driven to make a significant impact on the world, and one whose influence continues to be felt in our magnificent country and throughout the modern world. But he was also a human being and filled with foibles, flaws, and mistakes that often accompany the human spirit. How often do we encounter people whose words do not mesh with their actions? We rationalize this in many ways from hypocrisy to sin to emotional instability or maybe even chemical imbalance. We avoid harsh judgment of others due to our own personal awareness of frailty and the propensity to make mistakes. As great preachers remind us when discussing sin, the law deals with mistakes one way while a forgiving and loving God deals with it in other ways.

Those truths aside, there are only two explanations for why Jefferson kept slaves and why he (some disagreement on this) fathered children with one of them. One is that his desire for land, power, and influence overrode his view of liberty, and two his sexual appetite, maybe love, was greater than his prejudice toward slaves as property. Does it really matter? Yes, history does matter and not just to avoid mistakes of the past but also to explore our civilization, our culture, and our foundation of our governmental system. Gross inconsistencies between the practices of our founding fathers and the very words they penned leave the words shaky and tenuous when seen through the historical lens of action over philosophy. How can we now believe and apply the text to our lives and our country when the words had such little meaning in application? Or maybe that is unfair. Ultimately the power of the Declaration of Independence as a binding document becomes the lifeblood of our country in spite of the flaws of the original authors.

We can justify some of Jefferson's actions and his ownership of slaves by the context of the times. After all, he did keep them in clothes, provided food and shelter. He grew his own territory and contributed positively to farming, science, and the economy. He was a remarkable man who lived a life of significance far beyond that of most people. But no matter how many ways we examine his life and his contributions, the ownership of slaves cannot be justified on any level, particularly when examined from the man who encouraged life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. How can the author of one of the most influential documents in history propose liberty while opposing it in so blatant a manner? Is it possible to advocate for liberty and slavery at the same time? Did Jefferson only believe in liberty for whites? What about his own children who were born into slavery? Did they have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?

In a way these are difficult questions and point to a past society not ready to accept blacks as "all men" and certainly not equal. But in a way they are not difficult questions. The answer is clear and leaves no room for debate. Jefferson was morally wrong and incomprehensibly hypocritical as a champion for liberty and an owner of slaves. He compounded his morally reprehensible practice by having a relationship with a slave and fathering children with her, children he denied. It is easy for us to point fingers, pass judgment, and denounce his actions, and too often we brand others as undeserving of our respect without having walked in their shoes. We do not fully understand the social, political, nor economic pressures of the times and the high expectations of being Thomas Jefferson the statesman, author, President, and Founding father of a nation must have been tremendous. Surely a day did not pass where he felt an overwhelming burden and responsibility to live the life set forth for him as a leader.

But the words are hollow and the justification empty. Thomas Jefferson did not practice liberty nor did he believe "all men are created equal." Knowing this truth is painful and serves as a reminder of the flaws of human beings.

The Art of Teaching

Having spent a career studying great teachers and putting into practice myriad approaches to teaching, I am going to summarize my thoughts on what it means to achieve teaching excellence.

A good teacher knows the subject matter, sets the goals, and presents the information in a logical, sequential manner and in a such a way that students can use the knowledge to continue learning. Yes, teaching is about student learning in an environment that is both inspirational and focused on the subject at hand. For learning to take place, the teacher must create a climate of openness, mutual respect, and eagerness for knowledge. In such an environment, a variety of tools and methods can be implemented in order to encourage learning through dialog, lecture, technology, group activities, and a vast amount of web resources.

Because of differences in learning styles due to training, background, personality, aptitude, and receptiveness, it is necessary for a teacher to present information in a variety of ways, often reteaching a concept or an idea not only for emphasis but also to reach all types of students. Information must be delivered and communicated precisely with creativity, interest, and perception of the learners in the classroom. While learning can take place in stagnant environment whether online, virtual, or face-to-face, synchronous learning that involves personal interaction is the preferred communication and learning climate.

Regardless of the positive environment created by the teachers for the learners, there remains a need to inspire students and hold them accountable for the information. Inspiration can take many forms including organization, content, will power, personality, and varied experiences in and out of the classroom. An inspiring teacher is one who fosters interest in the subject matter and the desire to improve and strive for intellectual growth. Quality teaching results in eager students for learning and knowledge.

Accountability is a necessary and valuable part of teaching. Imparting information, sharing ideas, and communicating subject matter is particularly rewarding, but without any confirmation of the communication, teachers risk one-dimensional experiences that serve little purpose other than meeting the needs of the teacher. While we immediately begin thinking of tests, quizzes, and writing expectations, accountability, like teaching itself, can and should take many forms. The time tested Socratic method of teaching is a form of accountability as is perception of the experience. Quality teaching and communication in general have an abstract flavor that is almost indescribable yet perceived through body language, facial expressions, and general response of learners. This makes accountability both a science and an art, a joyful tool of assessing the efficacy of the teaching experience.

In a Christian context, teaching takes on a higher expectation of excellence, not unlike the life of Jesus Christ who communicated truth in a multitude of ways and demonstrated the ultimate sacrifice. As an example of quality teaching, Jesus lived the life he taught others and became a walking example of discipline, courage, truth and compassion. Applying this principle to today, teaching is not about delivering information but, instead, is about living it. The challenge to manifest truth can be overwhelming and sometimes impossible to attain, but the journey toward living out ones' faith and message is transformational both individually and collectively.

Recent Speech

TAMS Presidential Address

Robert Tucker

January 28, 2016

Music makes a difference in our world whether that is in the concert hall, rehearsals, entertainment, sporting events or even in nature. Sound is a result of vibration and vibrations are around us all the time.  Among the most dramatic musical sounds in nature is the sound of the bird. A new species of bird called a Thrush was recently discovered in the Himalayan forests. Although it is a Thrush, scientists realized it was not the same as the Mountain variety of Thrushes normally identified. A close look at the bird revealed it to have a slightly shorter tail and shorter legs although still in the Thrush family. The discovery was made due to the “tuneful song” played by the new species. When compared with the Mountain Thrush, the forest thrush had an increased number of notes and a steadier rhythm, musically catching the ear of the scientists and making them aware of the different species. This is yet another example of the role of music in our world. Music happens around us all the time, often altering our perception of our environment, and affecting us in ways we cannot always define, cannot always measure, but definitely making a difference on many levels.

Imagine for a few moments a world devoid of sound. While we know that this is impossible and absurd, how would it alter our other senses, how it would it shape our emotions and our aesthetics? When John Cage attempted to create a completely silent environment, he heard the sound of his own heartbeat and the rushing of the blood through his veins. Silence is not possible. The sounds we experience every day are a form of music in our world. Those sounds and more have been organized into a complex and joyous system of music as we know it and we as musicians have taken sound to a new level of organization. With this system comes the need for guidance and training to continue to develop music and musicians for today. The driving force of sound combined with a healthy love for music gives us the framework for our profession as music administrators.

In spite of the obvious love for music that exists in society, there continues to be a veiled or not so veiled suspicion that music does not serve the greater good and ultimately costs more than the gain. Although not a new suspicion, after all we can point to Plato who worried that music could cause unwanted emotions, it is a pervasive concern in economic down times. This concern leads us to be alert to possible budget cuts, resulting in our frequent need to advocate not only for our students and our faculty but for music at large. Advocacy and entrepreneurship have become standard buzz words for our profession and useful in certain settings, particularly when reminding people of our value, but deep down we wish it were not necessary. Isn’t it obvious that music makes a significant difference in our world? Why don’t they understand?

I recall as a young child, sitting on my father’s knee as he played guitar and sang to me. One vivid memory takes me back to the day he sang a sweet prayerful lullaby with a gentle rocking sound and a clear usage of tonal arpeggios…no, I did not know the word arpeggio at the time! After singing the song, he told me it was a melody from Beethoven’s 6^th Symphony. To this day, when I hear the piece or recall it my head, the memories come rushing back and I am filled with joy at the sound and at the melody. If, however, the marvelous symphonic melody only made a difference to me, it would not have a global impact but, in fact the symphony, as all Beethoven symphonies tend to do, makes a profound difference to thousands. Granted, the melody does have personal meaning.  Yet you might have some kind of similar story or experience at a young age, something that helped shape you into the person you are today.

But knowing this and feeling this does not necessarily pay the bills. Provosts and Vice Presidents often remind us in meetings to increase revenues and decrease expenses. While this conversation takes place every day in the business world, such conversations seem to be escalating in academia. McDonalds continues to explore ways to reduce expenses and increase revenues—all day breakfasts, no more lobster sandwiches, only 1 napkin allowed per person, and boxes that form into paper plates!  One prominent coffee shop closed several stores and then produced K cups for Keurig machines. Still not satisfied with their revenues, they duped the public into purchasing a box of K cups with only 10 cups per box rather than the typical 12. The empty space in the box has now become filled with a slightly smaller box and thicker cardboard for feel and weight…all to increase revenues and decrease expenses. General Electric sold its traditional appliance business to concentrate on technology for the future and Amazon offers Prime benefits which in the end help Amazon grow in profits. To translate the academic language from the university officials, we are encouraged to increase our numbers of students, maybe raise our music fees, become more efficient, and be prepared for budget cuts. My MBA side understands and respects this position, but my artistic side wants to avoid its being central to our cause.

As I think about the role of the music in the world and the charge to increase revenues and decrease expenses, I realize I should have turned to my Dad when I was four years old and told him that his guitar was too expensive and he should have gotten a cheaper model—or even better he should have used a midi recording. Perhaps his time spent singing old melodies should have been spent earning more money and studying data and ratios, such as numbers of notes per rhythm or maybe assessing the profit margins of Symphonies. Or maybe instead of singing he should have just said to me, “Robert, imagine a nice melody in your head and go out and earn more revenue and decrease expenses.” In fact, I probably should have interrupted his song and told him that Beethoven should have composed one symphony rather than nine and one piano sonata rather than thirty-two—that would be much more efficient. Beethoven should have gotten a real job to increase his revenue. Maybe compose a few notes, play those notes on the piano (which by the way did cost some money—he probably could have used clay pots instead!), and satisfied those who like music.

Or those silly little thrushes in the forest making tuneful melodies…they could save some breath by reducing their sound to just one note. Or perhaps at a Thrush convention, they could encourage each other to increase revenues and decrease expenses by avoiding sounds all together and stay in one bunch so as to communicate with a slight nod or wing flap rather than making a sound, I mean after all do they really have to make noise, much less a tuneful melody?

And yet while birds simply sing because that is what they do, we hear it as music and interpret it as beauty. Music becomes the tool for emotional satisfaction, for cleansing, for expression, for representation, for meaning, for depth of thought and ultimately for unification of society. It stands alone for its power and for its ability to synthesize, meld, and blend into its own system of resolution. Music seems to have the ability to bring people together and emulsify conflict. It has been suggested that Elvis Presley did more for integration of the races in the late 50s than did government action. Following 9/11, services were held across the nation using music as a tool for comfort. Church services, weddings, funerals, sporting events, and gatherings of all kinds use music to provide social emulsification. Music is our common ground and music provides substantive meaning in culture around the world.

How often have we noticed how a concert or a musical event seems to squelch or even cleanse conflict? I often deal with faculty concerned about their students or worried about an ensemble or even concern about another faculty member only to have that concern magically alleviated at a concert where suddenly all is well. If ultrasound technology is a more efficient way to emulsify immiscible properties, then it makes sense that music is an efficient way to emulsify each other. Oil and water may not mix but an emulsifying agent brings those elements together. Did you use salad dressing at lunch today? Do you ever add cream to your coffee or eat bread with butter? Do you use make up, lotions, or medical ointments? All these and more are emulsifiers.

Music is an emulsifier for our time as exemplified by the nature of music in everything we do. Ours is a profession of music making and music preparation. We recognize the value of sound and we order that sound into our musical vocabulary which we then develop into a complex system worthy of knowledge and worthy of practice.  This practice forms our schools into curricular programs, ensembles, faculty, classes, performances, juries, budgets, assessment, syllabi, reviews, committees, meetings, donors, scholarships, and evaluations. The demand for efficiency without sacrificing quality often leads us to forget the very reason we became musicians in the first place…because we love sound and believe in the essence of music, an essence that makes a profound difference in the world. Advocate for music we will do, and support it we shall, for to do otherwise is to give in to the pressing urge for apathy in a world that looks for revenues greater than expenses while, at the same time, and rather ironically, embracing and requiring the sound that music offers to our culture. 

As we deal with the challenge in TAMS for greater revenue in light of recent policy changes, let us remember that ultimately it is for the cause of music that we support our organization and each other. Our revenue must exceed our expenses and we will vote to find a way for that to happen. Yet regardless of our monetary conclusion, in truth our revenue is music, and our expense is the hard work that leads to the beauty of music in the world.  As I finish these remarks I want to remind all TAMS members to continue the respect, admiration, and equal regard we give to all schools, large, small, state, or private and to continue to use music to make a difference in the lives of our students. To the musical thrushes I say thank you for the tuneful melodies and for the reminder of the meaning of music; and to all TAMS members I say thank you for the opportunity to have served this fine organization as President.

Social Justice

Almost everyday we read or hear about an injustice taking place in the world somewhere. These events may be localized in which case they seem to hit home to people we know or they may be more global, occurring to people we do not know in a remote region from our normal existence. In most cases, however, the social injustice relates whether abstractly or personally to something from our life or at least a connection to something close to us. Injustice by its very meaning is an example of an event that is not fair. While I may spend some time discussing the impossibility of fairness in all situations, I do think that a continued effort to be fair is a worthy objective for all of us. I suppose fair does not mean equal but it does mean allowing for equal opportunity or in some cases equivalent punishment for like infractions.

When one person's freedom is another person's straitjacket, it is not true freedom. If one hits another on the head and takes the person's money, then the crime should be punished. If my right to own a dog infringes on my neighbor's right to freedom from a barking dog, then my dog needs to stop barking or go away. Social justice allows for fair treatment for all and the right to liberty and the pursuit of happiness. When my pursuit prevents the happiness of someone else, then I lose my right to the pursuit. Otherwise I am free to pursue happiness in all its myriad forms. But criminal activity aside, it is those ambiguous situations that do not seem right but are not infractions of the law where we need to act in a manner that allows for fair treatment for all.

When I look back on history and think through the 40 Acres and Mule program from the Reconstruction, I find myself feeling ill at the mistreatment of the former slaves. The program was well intentioned, as most programs area, but the reality was challenging only to be followed by a rescinding of the idea. "Here is a gift to help you in the future...oh never mind." No justice there. In Brownsville, Texas in 1906 an unidentified shooting by two or three people led to the dishonorable discharge of an entire unit--167 soldiers. These men who had spent their lives fighting for the United States lost their jobs, their pensions, and any medical benefits for their families. They were left destitute and disgraced and were entirely innocent.

These examples are obviously dramatic and tend to incite our emotions quickly when examined. But how many times do we witness social injustice on simpler but no less egregious situations? Lost jobs without reason, kickbacks for contracted work, mistreatment of those different from us, public funds spent for personal gain, unwarranted punishments, misappropriations, insider trading, discrimination, and the list goes on and on. While I am not a supporter of excessive legislation and enjoy living in my "people want to do the right thing" world, I do think we should continue to exercise fairness and equal treatment for all. Randian philosophies aside, we owe it to each other and to all people to create a society that allows for equality and prevents liberty at the exclusion of other people' freedom.

Food and Weight Gain

No question about it, we are getting heavier as a nation and society. Everywhere I look I see large people, some getting on buses, sitting at the doctor's office, shopping at Walmart, walking through the mall, eating at restaurants, going to the show, and driving down the street. And I have no negative judgment toward them since I struggle with the same problem. Having lived in London, and the British are concerned about weight gain as well, it quickly became apparent that the people were generally smaller than Americans as exemplified by smaller seats on the tube, buses, and in the theaters.

I attribute the problem of weight gain to our food and the preservatives we use in all our food. While I am not a product of the 60s, okay I really, I do believe organic food without excessive preservatives is better for the body. Keep in mind that I am not a medical doctor nor a nutritionist and have no real scientific understanding of food or the body. Yet my intuition and some research tell me that the food we buy in grocery stores and the food at restaurants has an inordinate amount of preservatives in it. When I put this quality in the mix, add in our love of sugar, and our general abhorrence of exercise, it is no wonder that we are getting heavier. And so as not to point fingers, I am a classic example.

In addition to the problems of food, our metabolism slows down when we get older, resulting in the storage of more body fat. My love of bread and sweets has caught up with me again and in spite of consistent running of 2-3 miles nearly every morning, I continue to gain weight. Not wanting to go carb free every again, I am aware that I need to reduce the carbs and make the protein work correctly in my body. This will add to my energy, make my running more productive, and force me to eat less in general. Time to avoid the sweet snacks, the large intakes of bread at every opportunity, and no need to eat several tortillas and chips at Mexican restaurants.

We'll see how it goes but right now I am committed to organic foods, more protein, fiber, and fewer carbs. I resent how our food makes us bigger but I am also sadly aware of my own responsibility and contributions to the problem.

Rewards Programs

Giving up on my rights not to be a part of a rewards program, I remain resentful of the modern tracking system of all purchases. Acknowledging the data that determines market trends in order to meet market needs and match consumer demand with supply, I do not appreciate my purchases being monitored. Almost every store I enter to buy something asks me to be a part of a rewards program sometimes called "plus" or "benefits" or "bonus" or any catchy additive to the purchase. These types of programs are enticing and even impossible to ignore due to the reduced cost of certain items, more coupons available, or points that add up to "free" acquisitions of items. To deny the rewards is to increase the expense. To accept it is to reduce expenses thereby retaining more income.

In all fairness, these programs are coming from large companies with centralized purchasing power. They are responsive to inventory turnover and aside from the profit motive, recognize that it is necessary to supply consumers with products that are demanded. I have a choice not to purchase from the large franchise and I suppose I do have a choice to reject their rewards offers. But employees are trained and required to ask the consumer to be a "member" and even politely rejecting the opportunity results in a pitch explaining the "savings" incurred through the rewards program. When a buyer is not a member and does not supply a card, usually the next question is for the buyer's phone number. If the buyer asks why, the clerk's standard answer is in case the buyer is not satisfied with the purchase. Of course the truth is that the store can cross-reference the number with the name and track the purchases and buying habits of the consumer.

Yesterday I bought two packages of gum. I often chew gum when I am driving in order to quell any nervous tension I might have and to keep my teeth clean between brushings. Purchasing the two cups of gum would normally cost $4.55 each but my rewards program allowed me to purchase each cup for $4.30 each at a total savings of $.50. The salesclerk seemed genuinely happy to point out how much I would save by being a member of the rewards program, as though she were helping me--which I suppose was true to an extent. I, however, momentarily resisted her recommendation to be a member and asked for the discount anyway. Respectfully declining my request, she politely said being a member was easy. Wondering if my wife had previously accepted membership, I gave her a phone number from a prior residence and discovered I was, in fact, already a rewards member, resulting in reduced cost for the gum. Joy and happiness.

Yes I did not have to pay as much for the gum due to my membership. But I also gave the store my purchasing information including my time of visit, what I bought, how I paid, and what else I might have considered. Cross referencing with past purchases, videos of my visits, and any questions I might have asked and suddenly my independence is gone, replaced by a Robert Tucker robot of data.

Granted I could have run into a convenient store and bought the same thing or maybe a discount store of some kind. I did not have to give them my rewards information or I could have paid a little bit more which would have given the store general consumer information but not specific to me. Yet I was willing to give up my independence for the sake of saving a few cents. Thus is the way of the economic world of today. We are at risk of becoming walking data machines. While it may be time to accept it, for some reason I resent it. Our personal liberty is threatened every time we purchase something. I remain opposed but also a contributor at the same time to all rewards programs.

Spiderman and Spidey Sense

I believe it started as a little boy when I first heard the Spiderman song with its augmented intervals, diminished chords, quickly shifting harmony, and complex tonal implications. No, I did not know any of this at the time but I do recall singing the song while playing Spiderman games outside. I enjoyed the cartoon, the comic books, and mostly the idea of a normal person "saving the day" and stopping the bad guys. Sometimes Peter Parker would be doing something rather common when suddenly his "Spidey Sense" would kick in with a tingle and he would quickly don his suit and become Spiderman. It was so cool and still is. He would spin his webs, stop falling objects, save children, and wrap up the bad guys.

The song itself is intriguing in a minor key with significant complexity that allows for tonal shifting to all kinds of keys. Emphasizing the harmonic minor and using borrowed dominants, the song seems to imply a dark but positive energy not unlike the character himself. Spiderman is always getting in trouble and is often portrayed negatively by the press and sometimes by authorities. A champion of the people, he seems to be on a precipice of ambiguity as to his intentions. The 60s style big band sound that accompanies the song is certainly challenging and I can imagine the players having a great time recording it while feeling the pressure of playing difficult passages.

The other side to Spiderman that people often forget is his knowledge of science. Peter Parker was a brilliant scientist aware not only of the contributions of spiders to our ecosystem but also thoroughly skilled in physics, biology, and chemistry. The ideal combination of science (okay, fiction too!) and heroism gives us a superhero who continues to fascinate us, winning the hearts of young men and women and capturing media attention through films and video games. His sardonic personality and tendency to be self-effacing only adds to his charm not mention our societal preference for the "imperfect" yet tenacious hero.

But why have I continued to enjoy Spiderman? Spiders are certainly intriguing with their amazing web design and their work ethic. Converting oxygen into a gel-like substance that then is transmitted into incredibly strong silk in order to capture food is a wonderment for sure. The suggestion that we are never more than 6 feet away from a spider of some kind or another is a little bit disconcerting but also serves as a reminder of how many spiders actually exist in the world. Yes, it is all amazing to me. I also enjoy crime dramas and heroism in many forms with the idea of making a difference in people's lives.

The concept of Spidey Sense is also quite absorbing with a strange intuition or perception of one's surroundings. While I prefer data for decision making, I must admit to using my "Spidey Sense" occasionally to predict possible outcomes of situations.

In the end, however, I believe it is the music that has a grip on my interest. Great melody, fun rhythms, and a Mozartian approach to chromaticism, non-harmonic tones, and motivic potential. So Spiderman, you are still the one for me!

The Music School Part II

After writing the previous post, I feel a need to expound further and clarify my position. The more we embrace and encourage an eclectic approach to music, the more we need to identify those elements that are common to all forms of music making and universally required regardless of the specific genre expressed. Further, a student needs to excel on something particular such as piano, voice, or an instrument. It is the process of excelling that promotes the needed discipline to advance the music making. In other words, a music student needs to focus a certain amount of attention on one or two things in music which will in turn become the pathway for music understanding. Achieve prowess on an instrument or voice.

Know your music theory. Whether a student pursues commercial music, video game music, film, art music, teaching, performance, composition, or church, he/she must know key signatures, two clefs, rhythms, and how music is put together. This is a must and requires memorization, listening skills, craft, and application. While the debate will continue, and there are some fair arguments for letting go, most of us maintain that knowledge of the keyboard is essential for understanding the elements of music.

Know where music has been and project where it is going. This is essential for drawing conclusions about the meaning of music culturally, historically, and sociologically. Similar to knowing history of our country or state, we study the past to reflect and respect the developments that have brought us to this point, to avoid the same mistakes, and to embrace the qualities of excellence that have contributed to the current time.

Participate in the collective experience of music making. This includes ensembles small and large and opportunities for group music making. Enjoy the experience and apply the musical and emotional gains to all musical events. Let the power of the ensemble shape your musical thinking in all types of music. Use the ensemble experience to hone your personal skills with the accountability pressure of being a part of a team.

Use technology to supplement all learning including video conferencing, web resources, recording, mixing, and portfolio development. Technology usage can be invoked in all types of musical experiences from solos to ensembles, classroom theory and history, and a multitude of events. In addition students should have access to technological advances for recording, software, and sound enhancements.

These and more should be a part of the music school. Is this any different from what most schools are presently doing? Not really. But schools need to work to REDUCE required classes within the constraints presented above while offering more music choices and options to students as they fulfill degree requirements. Teach the basics using mostly but not exclusively art music and encourage students to pursue other types of music as they progress in their studies. This may involve more electives in our degree programs or at least more tracks to include commercial music, world music, film, church, and digital options. Mostly it is time to let go of the idea that there is only one pathway to achieve musical development.

The Music School

Being a Dean of Fine Arts, and I often feel this is my calling in life at least for now, involves leading the arts in some sort of strategic direction. Rather than simply reacting to trends taking place in the arts world, it is part of our responsibility to project them and demonstrate progress in some sort of way. But in music this is challenging at best due to the canon of great literature from the past that exists to be performed over and over. For some reason, perhaps due to training or preference, visual art and theatre tend to move forward while continuing to respect the traditions from the past. Picasso, for example, was an excellent painter in an old model, with a flair for naturalism and ultimately expressionism not unlike the masters from the past. Yet he did not stop there, insisting on new approaches to art that made him one of great artists that continues to be studied.

In music, however, we have become mired in music from the past. This is mostly due to music from the past being truly masterful and meaningful, containing great expression and emotional content, not to mention craft and beauty. One cannot help but be moved by a Brahms symphony or gripped by Handel's Messiah or touched by Bach's Cello Suites or charged by a Mahler symphony or shocked by a Stravinsky ballet. Having spent my life studying, performing, and loving music from the past, it is not easy to embrace a newer model. Not unlike a reader who loves Shakespeare, Dickens, and Hugo but cannot seem to find merit in Doctorow, Roth, or Franzen, many academically trained musicians have fallen into a trap of only allowing art music from the past govern their entire personal emotional domicile of musical expression.

While it makes perfect sense to emphasize art music in academic music training, it does not serve the greater cause of music's need to have a broad impact on the individual and on the collective. It does, however, serve the less than 3% of the population who prefer past art music over the vast sea of music styles that can be found in contemporary culture. This may sound as though I am an advocate for abandonment of an art music based curriculum, but in point of fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Art music has withstood the test of time for a good reason--it is great music worthy of study and worthy of being at the forefront of music performances in a multitude of settings. Music by Beethoven deserves its rightful place in the curriculum regardless of what current media and market demands are saying.

What I do subscribe to for music schools is an eclectic curriculum that encourages and develops young musicians for all styles and all genres of music and music performance. Let us give students the tools to use to build popular music, art music, film music, world music, hip-hop, jazz, experimental, strange, beautiful, chamber, orchestral, band, children's music, church music, opera, theatre, and secular music. I dream of the music school that encourages and supports all levels and types of music making. A music school that contributes broadly to society and recognizes the inherent value of music of all types, shapes, and sizes. A music school that has found a successful methodology to prepare students for the enormous and varied world of music. A music school that presents the glorious past that helps shape the future, and a school where individual excellence leads to success in solo and corporate performance. A school where teaching children music is valued equally with performing on an opera stage. A school where composing a country western song is as meaningful as composing a symphony and where playing with a rock band is embraced alongside playing with an orchestra. A school where singing an old hymn is accepted the same as singing a new chorus.

Can such a school exist? Not without a lot of work and not without letting go of biases. But I believe it is possible and I believe it is happening.

Decline of the Book

Many have written on the decline of the physical book, most lamenting the loss while extolling the virtues of the physical book on the shelf or in the hand. Others take a more practical view with a little prophecy mixed in that the digital book is replacing the physical book for many reasons not the least of which is convenience and storage. Books are now seen as archaic objects, quaint in the way that antiques are perceived, odd little things of no value containing information that can be found within a click or two on the net. Of course there remains the charming but old-fashioned readers sitting under a tree or in a corner enjoying a physical book and they are seen as different, refusing to embrace the modern world, preferring to live their lives as Luddites rejecting technology, deeply suspicious of the digital world.

Having spent a lifetime reading and collecting books, it was a sudden change on many levels when I bought a Kindle and began to read digital books. No longer obsessed with every bookstore I see, I calmly walk or drive past a Half Price Book store without my palms sweating or my pulse increasing for a chance to see and hold books. The thousand books in my personal collection are losing their grip on my emotions, and I am able to go days without studying them and reorganizing them. I no longer feel a need to "complete" a collection or purchase a particular author's book to add to the others. A signed book by the author has no meaning to me and the words "first edition" are just words. Gone is the feeling of walking into a library and wanting to read every volume or peruse the latest acquisitions. Once believing that the knowledge of the world is found in books, I now believe the knowledge of the world is found on the internet--for the most part! I have lost my emotion for physical books--I think.

But in truth I am simply not reading as much as I once did. Still keeping three books going at one time, it takes me longer to finish a book. Audio books are fun and I listen to one almost every morning during my run of 2-3 miles. Currently enjoying the David McCullough biography of Wilbur and Orville Wright, I cannot decide if listening to a book constitutes reading. Perusing articles and staying current with the news are forms of reading I suppose and I look through a dozen or so articles everyday. A James Lee Burke novel continues to fascinate me with his beautiful descriptive writing style and his pervasive darkness and grim study of humanity approach to life. But what used to take a few days to finish, now takes a few weeks in some cases. I am not reading to completion very often anymore. I have been working on a history of the Brownsville incident for several months now.

At one time I raged against digital books but now embrace them. Yet somewhere deep inside, I believe we are losing something dear and special in our world--the physical book. Does our gravitation to the digital world wreak havoc on our emotions in some way that is not definable? As we forsake holding a book in our hands and embrace a digital world, are we in some way contributing to the constant distractions and bytes of information that threaten to rule the day? Having written often about the benefits of today over yesterday, I have to wonder if this is entirely true when it comes to books. Have we inadvertently caused our own inability to focus on one thing? I check my phone often for emails and texts, and I run through web pages the same way I eat chips and salsa at a Mexican restaurant.

Yes I will continue to read digital books and my wallet and time schedule are much happier without the book obsession. But I miss the old days, the book nerd days, the bibliophile days, the collector days, and books in the hand days. I doubt I will return to an earlier time and I strangely look forward to the day my home office no longer contains a thousand books, but I also recognize that I and society are losing something special. Libraries are becoming social hangouts with coffee bars and bookstores are filled with activity. The aging spinster fussing at people for being loud is gone and card catalogs belong in tool sheds with nails and screws. Perhaps there exists room for the hybrid reader, one who enjoys a physical book as well as a digital one. Maybe unification includes room for both approaches and perhaps our cultural goal is to bring all styles of books to the world. We have enough polarizing events and objects in our world and books should not necessarily be one of those. It may be time for us to respect all forms of reading and reacquaint ourselves with what reading means in its totality. Regardless of how one reads, it is valuable to read something in some way.

My loss of the love of physical books is replaced by a love of our digital world. The gain is greater than the loss but occasionally I must commiserate as I reflect on a life of book collecting that is no more.

Blogging Delinquency

Quit blogging for several months and now would like to get back into it. During the blogging hiatus, my blog acquired a redirected code from javascript that took me quite awhile to remove. I am not a coder and had a difficult time identifying the line with the flaw. But I learned several new things in the process about coding and computers and eventually removed the offending code.

It is Christmas season and with it comes lots of complexity, joys, and the occasional sadness associated with concern, depression, and loss. But even in those quiet reflections of darkness that somehow creep into our thoughts, trying and sometimes succeeding to pervade all emotions, the threat quickly dissipates as the joy of the season reigns victorious, dwelling in our hearts and expressed through sounds, music, and giving. Even the most jaded among us cannot squelch the smile when seeing the joy on a child's face or watching It's a Wonderful Life for the 50th time or laughing when Ralphie visits Santa on A Christmas Story.

Admittedly, the Christmas craze seems a bit much to me and I could do without the excessive decorating. I have little regard for Christmas lights, wreaths, ornaments, packages, scenes, or snowmen, and the color red seems to emanate everywhere I go, mixing in with everything I see. Scheduling meals, family times, travel plans, all these and more almost seem like burdens in their inception rather than experiencing the joy of the moment. It can make Christmas season exhausting physically and emotionally, draining the energy needed to go shopping, share in the excitement, and participate in the multitude of activities. Add all this to having some ill friends and knowing about several medical problems, and it could all be the onset of depression. Yet I battle the potential darkness and replace it with the light of the world. As Jim Cramer says, the best way to overcome those times of insecurity and doubt is to get up the next day and go to work. Keep the routine and make yourself accomplish something.

Of course the other side of the story is that in spite of the normal challenges of life, Christmas really is a blast. Lots of great music, choir concerts, band concerts, musicals, activity, food, lights, children, and many happy people everywhere I go. There is a feeling of lightness and joy mixed with anticipation of Santa gifts, stockings filled with great things, and meals together with the ones you love. All these and more make this time of year fun. So no more Grinch for me...time for me to enjoy it and be a part of the festivities!

Writing is a valuable tool of expression regardless of the decline of reading in our world. Plus I come from a family of writers with my brother achieving great success in the publishing world of books and essays. Writing helps clarify thoughts and allows us to centralize the complexity of jumbled events that sometimes seem overwhelming. Rather than allow events and emotions to pass by unrecorded, it is time again for me to put these in writing.