Prejudice

We normally think of prejudice as pre-judging a person based on skin color; but prejudice can actually assume many kinds of forms.

I came out of the grocery store pushing a cart and walking beside my son Joel. As I walked toward my pickup, I saw two boys and felt a stirring of suspicion and even detestation within me. The boys were covered in tattoos, had spiked hair, body piercing in strange places, and one was smoking a cigarette. I was disgusted with their appearance, turned away quickly, and wondered why they weren’t in jail yet. With that thought came the rampant metaphors and analogies of cancers, sores, blights, cuts, bruises, bacteria, and many other maladies that these boys inflicted on our society. The world would be better off without such sub-humans walking around.

But, for not the first time, and certainly not the last, my middle son Joel, taught me a lesson. As I neared my truck, I heard “Hey Joel, how’s it going?” I looked around and saw those two sub-humans smiling and shaking Joel’s hand. He began smiling back and talking to them. Apparently he knew them from school from a couple of years ago.

As I watched this scene unfold, I realized several things.

One: my autistic son had once again offered his magic to the world and made it a better place. He has an unusual ability to share unadulterated joy with others. He brings no prejudice with him, no suspicion, no fear, and no judgment to the table. He offers up care, interest, and acceptance to all people regardless of their status, appearance, age, background, race, beliefs, world-view, and position. He does not need to nor desire to correct anyone, criticize anyone, give his opinions on anything or pass judgment in any way. He simply wants to say hello, be friendly, and make the world a better place. He gives the gift of simplicity and love to everyone he meets. He is the season of Christmas every day of the year (of course, he does have those occasional but pointed times of being a 16 year old boy, but I don’t want to talk about that right now since it ruins the lesson I learned!)

Two: My attitude was prejudiced. I had pre-judged the two boys based on their appearance and made decisions that were decidedly unfair. I assumed that tattoos, body piercing, and a cigarette meant those boys had criminal intent. I labeled them without knowing them. I rejected them with no foundation for my attitude. Now this is not to say that I completely agree with their appearance choices. I wish, for their sake, they would consider another avenue for their independence. Although wrong, I suspect that finding employment could be a challenge for these two. But as far as their character, work ethic, compassion, integrity, and personality—none of these things have been determined. Certainly, their appearance is not enough to decide these other qualities.

Three: You never know who you or your family members may know. It pays to be friendly to all.

I will work diligently to avoid future prejudices and instead offer up the kind of automatic acceptance that Joel is able to give. If the world had more Joels, it would be a better place!