The endless mystery of time

Joel has almost no concept of time. His time responses are simply physiological rather than dictated by any kind of external restraints. Yes he carries a watch and occasionally glances at it for some kind of general idea but he makes few if any decisions based on the passage of time. When we name a specific time for an event, he does consider it in his planning, but simply in the way that the event and time match each other. The passing of time leading to that designated event has no merit in his thinking. Time remains a mystery to Joel.

In some ways, however, there is joy in the emancipation of the passing of time. Imagine a world without clocks, without deadlines, without appointments, without specific time requirements. Imagine eating, sleeping, talking, going, doing things whenever you felt? What kind of strange and marvelous existence would it be to have no awareness of the clock, the watch, the timekeeper. What if you never dealt with your own impatience or the impatience of someone else. What if the task had no deadline and you could deal with it at your leisure? Would this make your life all about leisure and pleasure? This is the natural world of Joel.

Yet it is an artificial world and one that has no bearing on the "real" world in which we reside. While we could quibble about the human imposition of time on our lives, in truth it is a reality. We have to follow society's time schedule and so must Joel. Here is where the intersection of autism and reality clash without any kind of ideal resolution. Society's insistence on following a time schedule and Joel's natural predilection for not knowing that time is passing. It makes for an incongruent and nearly impossible situation.

As parents though, we do not give up and accept Joel's lack of time awareness. Doing so would make Joel even less contributing and without meaning in today's world. Instead, we constantly remind him of the passing of time, to study the clock, to reference the upcoming events, to mention how long something will take, to point out that we cannot forget or ignore the clock as it steadily moves.

And in some intangible way, Joel's lack of time concept is related to his general sluggishness, lack of preparation, and very little progressive thinking. His life responses then are rather random and undetermined by any outside force with little regard to the things that have to get done. Most people wake up and give thought to the passing of time and how the goals of the day need to be met. Joel does not think any of those things.

In the end, however, Joel is probably happier for not having constant time considerations. We are not happy with him in this regard in that he does not and cannot fit into our schedule, but he does find joy in the lack of constraints. Keep in mind, however, that Joel does not actively resist time, he simply has no consideration for it. Not out of rebellion but more out of awareness. He is blissfully content not to be aware of time, but we are continually wishing for him to know time and to live closer to the clock. It makes for constant frustration for us, but makes no difference to him!