Instincts of a Mother--helping your child

An autism conference is one of the most enlightening experiences a parent can have. Exhibits, sessions, recommendations, suggestions, and unlimited ideas abound, each one expounding the benefits of a particular method for helping autistic children. And I attended and examined each method as thoroughly as possible, seeking, like all parents, an answer to helping Joel, autistic since birth.

Each method has the distinction of being helpful if not for itself but at the very least for the placebo effect (which cannot be denied nor ignored for its validity). Parents ought to explore and commit themselves to examining each method with the idea of finding the "magic" cure for autism. But sadly, it will not be found. There is no magic cure for the disability. This truth however does not preclude the amazing benefits of each method, and parents need to know for themselves how each system helps. Vitamins, nutrition, behavior modification, Hyperbolic, exercise, physical therapy, speech therapy, reading specialists, music therapy, and a host of medication all forms just some of the necessary procedures for helping your autistic child.

But in the end there are two things that should never be forgotten and these two things are interrelated. 1) Never giving up on your child and believing in him or her and 2) The unparalleled and ubiquitous instincts of a mother for her children. Obviously there are bad mothers in the world and awful situations that prevent autistic children from being loved by their parents, but for most children there is a woman who loves them in spite of their challenges and who will never give up trying to help them. With this devoted and cherished love comes instincts for motherhood that should always be considered at the very top of the methods for helping autistic children.

Mothers know when their children are seriously ill, emotionally distraught, putting on an act, frightened, joyful, developing a problem, or need to eat. They know when children are teething, have a diaper problem, struggling in a relationship, are resentful, are excited, wary, cautious, or too accepting. There is a bond between a mother and her child that nothing can sever. The instinctual feelings that a mother has for what her child needs and what he or she is experiencing is so strong as to be nearly supernatural. The synergy is often so closely tied as to create a projection of success in spite of contrary evidence. In other words, a mother is often desperate enough for her child to progress that she can cause progress by sheer desire. This is the power of the placebo effect in improving disabled children.

Obviously the placebo effect does not have long range gain, but even short term improvement speaks volumes for the method. And so Dads throughout the world, when you are doubt of what is wrong with the child, turn to the Mom. She probably has a good idea and likely knows the best treatment. This message is for physicians as well.