The clue to the middle name problem

We have never quite been able to discern the reason for his abhorrence, but the fact has remained for years that he just does not like his middle name. It is Arlitt--Joel Arlitt Tucker. Arlitt is a strong family name of German descent that eventually settled in much of Texas. It is a name to lift up and be proud, a name signifying strength and success. But he does not like it, never has, and we do not know why.

Finally in a fit of mild rage, Joel asked why everyone else has a middle name that begins with a consonant but his begins with a vowel. Often Joel's unusual statements that come out of the blue leave us perplexed, curious as to what he means, desperately wishing we could get inside his head to learn more. His statement about consonants and vowels was different, causing us to stare at him in wonderment. Further questioning revealed that everyone he knows has a middle name that begins in a consonant and it is not fair that his middle name begins with a vowel. He then said he prefers consonants over vowels.

I don't believe he hates vowels and probably looks at vowels as fillers for the rest of the word, but obviously he is more comfortable with consonants. I have known ranchers who preferred goats over sheep but didn't necessarily hate the sheep but did certainly like goats better. I guess that is another story though. Anyway, for whatever reason Joel prefers consonants over vowels and wishes his middle name started with a consonant. I threw out some options, none of which made any sense (particularly starting Arlitt with H was disconcerting!).

Finally I explained to Joel that had we known of his preference, we would not have named him Arlitt. He did not seem to understand this at all. Perhaps his lack of time understanding or the strange idea that what he thinks he assumes everyone thinks. Or maybe that nobody in his right mind would want a middle name that starts with a vowel. Whatever the reason he correctly blames us for the poor naming job we did years ago.

I suspect this problem will remain forever and other than not using his name or even referencing or making a legal request, I do not think this situation will change. In some ways, however, it is simply another example of how Joel must learn to cope with things that do not meet his expectations. In truth, life is often like that whether autistic or not. Unfortunately it becomes exaggerated for autistics.