Unanticipated Success

With Joel, our autistic 19 year old son, recently completing his high school years, it became paramount for his guardians to provide for his well-being and give him the opportunity for meaning in his life. Yet many questions remained with us, as his guardians, on our role, our goals for him, his preferences, and our community's acceptance of his differences. Should he try to get a job? If so, what kind? Should he stay at home? If so, what would he do? He watches television, he plays some games on the computer, but he doesn't read much, he doesn't get much physical activity. What would he do?

Connected to these concerns were even more basic questions. What and where would he eat? How would he get places? Would he take care of himself without our constant prompting? Could he handle people's questions or would he be assertive enough to solve his own life problems? Simple things such as bathrooms, drinking fountains, grooming, blowing his nose, all the things that we take for granted have to be taught to Joel. For us, the easiest thing would be to leave him home with lots of food in the pantry and not worry about it. But the question remains, what is best for Joel?

So we entered the rushing, turbulent river of life with great care and not just a little trepidation, looking for the calmest spot with shallow water, stepping gingerly so as not to fall or upset current flow too much. We held his hand, knowing we would need to let go when we were sure his feet and his journey would take him across. We then watched, ready to grab him if needed, ready to steady his steps, ready to find another crossing spot, but also ready to let him do this by himself.

It was all a careful and deliberate process of preparation and education for him and for us. Step one: Find out Joel's goals and make sure they are consistent with our own for him. Step Two: Find territory to match his goals. Step Three: Contact City Rides for scheduling and transportation possibilities. Step Four: Educate Joel on the process. Step Five: Monitor closely but encourage independence.

Joel's goals were to work in a library shelving and sorting books, and to work in the mail room at the local university sorting mail and delivering packages. He also did not want to wake up too early for this but did want some time to practice organ at school if possible. Thankfully, and not surprising, these goals matched our own. Finding the territory was a little difficult and involved interviewing librarians and mailroom workers. The interview also gave prospective employers an education and an opportunity to meet Joel and how to deal with him. Again, thankfully, we found employers willing to give it a try. In my mind, these are the heroes of this story. People willing to take a risk to help a disabled adult.

The transportation part of this story was complicated at first due to our living away from the city and our concern about Joel's readiness to get on a bus by himself. Yet for minimal cost, a small bus pulls up to our house and Joel gets on the bus and rides to work everyday at 12:30. It is a remarkably efficient system with drivers who care and make safety and comfort a priority.

We spent two days doing a dry run with Joel and showing him the path and the system for success. He was both malleable and excited about the opportunity. We then double-checked with the people to make sure all was in place before starting. The first few days we monitored the process, made a couple of adjustments, and then let Joel do it on his own.

While we are not so naive as to believe all is perfect, at this point, it is working much better than expected. He has risen to the challenge, responded with independence, and feels a contributing member of society. While he is not yet a paid employee, since all is voluntary, we are hoping to move him into these same positions as a part-time paid employee. Part of the reason he is not being paid at this point is the restrictive minimum wage law that does not allow employers to pay less. I have good reason to suspect the employers would be more willing to pay him something if they did not have to pay minimum wage. This is an example of how minimum wage hurts not helps the disabled. But that, once again, is for another blog someday! Meanwhile, we and Joel are excited with his success, a success that was unanticipated but much appreciated.