Be not bitter

There have been a few times in my life where I felt anger toward certain people and circumstances, situations that seemed a blatant slam on fairness and judiciousness, a gross mistreatment of who I am, an unnecessary disregard of my emotions. It is called bitterness and it can slowly but surely erode your joy, your confidence, your energy, and yes, even your character.

Bitterness takes the form of jealousy, resentment, despair, blame, and a general sense of hopelessness at your own circumstances. Bitterness festers and burns, slowly overtaking a person's mental state until it colors all circumstances and transforms a person into an angry, suspicious, non-influential, selfish entity working hard to infect others with the same poison pervading his every thought. In fact, sometimes people who are bitter can't understand why others are not the same way and, subsequently almost resent anyone who seems satisfied and contented.

I recall having a sycamore tree that became infested with worms. I made a rather lame attempt to kill the worms, but in truth I never liked the tree all that much, due to its general appearance and size. The worms came back and got worse, making the leaves yellow, the limbs brittle, and the elements that normally make it a vibrant, growing tree completely abhorrent. Finally, I had no choice but to give up and have the tree removed. I had allowed the worms to overtake the tree to the point where it had no chance for survival, plus the tree had lost its appeal making it a liability in the neighborhood.

Somehow being bitter is also debilitating, preventing productivity, and the creative fostering of ideas. In many ways, the rancor and vitriolic manner as caused from bitterness is an idea killer not only to the embittered but also to those directly or even directly affected by the defeatist. And defeatist they are indeed, for the sense of hope begins to leave, pore by pore, only to be left with pessimism and despair, in a kind of Kafkaesque existence matched only by Camus and his philosophy of social hopelessness. Like our tree, bitterness deliberately and systematically destroys its host.

Yet it is the person who overcomes the apparent mistreatment or harsh criticism or the injustices who ends up prevailing in the game. Of course the wise person benefits from the criticism at least to an extent and tries to avoid the same pitfalls that created the problem in the first place, gaining wisdom from the challenge and from the experience. Wisdom generally does come from experience but positive action occurs as we learn from but also eradicate the bitterness from our psychological armory. Maybe for the fortunate, in a Utopian world, a world devoid of discord, there is no reason to be bitter about anything due to the consistently positive and constantly warm affirmation received for everything done. But for most of us, we occasionally have a reason for bitterness. How we handle those moments, shapes our attitudes and ultimately forms our character.

The next step, after getting over the anger and bitterness is to forgive the perpetrator for the misdeed. But that, my friends, is fodder for another blog someday!