Most people respond in communication to events around us, perceiving situations whether due to social activities or physical properties that in turn give us the message what to do or say or react. This type of behavior happens all the time unconsciously and naturally, and is actually the result of years of awareness of our surroundings. It is the process of what is referred to as contractarianism, an unwritten contract between people that allows the give and take of conversation and communication. Of course we have all committed that inevitable and often disturbing social blunder, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, or using the wrong fork, or perhaps wearing the wrong clothes, but in general we work to retain individuality while fitting in with our environment. When we understand what is happening around us, we are able to belong while having influence at the same time.
In addition, our natural survival instincts warn us and teach us how to react to stimuli presented almost daily. Sudden or unusual sounds, motion, and feelings all dictate our immediate behavior, at least to an extent, giving us a constant awareness and perception of danger or of comfort. Last night, as I was driving home from a nearby city, going 65 miles per hour, I suddenly happened upon a large deer in my path. Logic reminded me to hit the deer (at least this is the recommendation by some due to the fear of rolling over) and face the consequences, but my survival instinct told me to swerve in avoidance. Luckily, the same instinct told me to correct my swerve a little but not too suddenly, and within seconds I was on my way, having missed the deer by a foot or two. I perceived a dangerous situation, altered my circumstances, fixed the problem, and rejoiced in relief the danger was passed.
Joel Tucker, 19, autistic since birth, does not enjoy those same survival instincts. He either does not have the reaction time to make decisions or more likely does not perceive of his environment in the same way that other people do. If he were to drive, he probably would have hit the deer. Joel's disability does not permit him to have a realistic awareness of the world around him. This includes traffic problems, complex emotions, even the passing of time can be a mystery to Joel. While he is peripherally aware of anger or tension or problems that may exist, those things are generally abstract and do not directly affect him. It makes for a rose-tinted world, a world where everyone and everything is a friend, a world of no "sorrow or dangers or toils or snares." A form of extreme sheltering that is natural and inherent rather than imposed or taught by others. While he would never say it, it is not unlike the statement, "I am sheltered and self-protected by my own inability to know reality. This makes me happy."
This is cause for two circumstances: 1) A young adult who enters the world contented and happy due to being unaware of the challenges facing him, and 2) Caregivers very concerned about his future and how to give him a degree of independence while insuring his safety. But the hard truth is that Joel is going to have to enter the world unprepared, at least to an extent, through no fault of his own or anyone's, for its harsh realities. This requires that others become sensitive, compassionate, helpful, and forthright.
Back to the purpose of these two essays. I am encouraging employers, drivers, clients, students, and all those who encounter Joel or the Joels of this world to give him a chance to be successful. To encourage him, to guide him, to guide help him, to be firm when needed, to love him, and mostly allow him to fit in. He, like everyone, deserves a chance and an opportunity to give it a try. While we are not so naive as to believe he will be successful at everything, and we are certainly aware of his limitations, we are also convinced that through cooperation, patience, and training, there is a place for Joel in this world. So I ask that we build a hedge of protection around him but within that hedge we push him to greater heights that will actually allow him to reach his potential. And as you afford him the opportunity and give him a chance to try, watch out for him along the way. It's going to take the concerted effort of many people for him to be safe and succeed.
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