The Tree

I woke up from a restless night and had a headache, a body ache, and a sluggish, lugubrious feeling inside and out. I did my morning prayers, exercises, and got ready for the day but all without any kind of energy or goal application. I went through the motions waiting for that obstacle or wall that would hinder any kind of progress toward completion or enjoyment of a task. As I slowly climbed the tower of the day and thought about how the tower was tall, difficult, painful, and not worth the effort, I was both anticipating and dreading the moment when someone or something would grab me and toss me down to the ground, forcing me downward into an emotional and mental abyss. I did not want to see anyone.

I continued my trek, my climb, my slow but deliberate journey and finally entered the garage to start the truck and pull out of the driveway and head to work. My head continued to pound and my body was not responding well to anything. All reactions were slow and somehow angry. As though an aging and ill sloth had invaded my person and infused me with irritation and darkness. I felt violated by my own being and unwanted even to myself. As I started the truck, engaged the reverse gear, I wanted to start the day over with a new spirit and a new look, but I knew that was silly and I knew I was relegated to what I expected and resigned to what was ordained for the day.

I glanced in the rearview mirror as usual and pulled out of the garage and hit a tree. During the night a large worm-infested mulberry tree had grown in the middle of the driveway. I hit it hard and the impact added to my pounding brain and my developing anger. In the deep recesses of my subconscious, however, I had expected it. It was there, I knew it would be there, and it happened. The obstacle to success, the wall to progress, the hedge of hell had landed in my path and I was stopped. I got out of my truck to go to war with the tree, to make it pay, to seek revenge on its evil. But as I angrily walked to the rear to see the damage and inflict equal or greater damage upon the tree, it grabbed me.

Its long branches and web-encrusted leaves reached out and rather roughly began to shake me and lift me off the concrete and into its own forest of worms, spiders, bark, twigs, and human qualities that I pretended didn’t exist. I did not want to acknowledge the twisted eyeballs I was seeing or the sharp teeth that expanded as I neared the core of the tree.

I felt my insides coming apart as the shaking intensified and my fear of the tree was mixed with extreme anger and debilitating powerlessness. I was unable to move on my own, unable to make any worthwhile decisions, and unable to think straight as I moved toward my own destiny that the tree had dictated for me. The tree with its web worms crawling all over me began to ingest me into its disgusting world of decay, sickness, and corruption. The world I knew was disappearing and no amount of anger and fight made a difference. As all things good collapsed and my life disintegrated, I woke up from the nightmare.

As I calmed down, splashed water on my face, and began to get ready for the day, I realized I had been given a second chance to start the day better. I started again (which was really the first time), prayed, exercised, got dressed, headed for the car and anticipated the positive. My head did not pound, I saw the sunshine, I began to set my goals for the day, I moved with a spring in my step, I looked forward to seeing people, and I started the truck and pulled out of the garage. I looked carefully to make sure there were no obstacles and seeing none I drove to work. I did not hit a tree.

It has been a challenging day but nothing I cannot handle! The obstacles are minor, the rewards immense. No trees in my pathway and many great people to see.