Potential

As I sit on my front porch looking out on the dead grass and wondering when it will rain, it occurs to me that even a little water could and would promote green growth in the grass. All I have to do is get out the hose and begin watering the grass. The grass has potential but I need to help it. I choose, however, not to water the grass due to the expense and the time needed. So the grass withers away and turns brown and becomes totally dependent upon nature for its sustenance.

While I recognize the potential in the grass for improvement, I do nothing about it. I give up on it and elect to spend my time and energy on other things--after all, it is just grass. But people are different. There is no giving up on people and there is no excuse for giving up on people. Of course there are times when we have to let people go their own way and make their own decisions, but there are other times when direct action is required. Such is the case with Joel, our autistic son.

When Joel was a child, he was late at sitting up, walking, toilet training, talking, and virtually everything else that our oldest son did "right on time." As an autistic child, his potential is somewhat limited. His older brother and younger brother each have a room full of sports trophies, certificates, medals, and awards for various things from music participation to sports events to academic achievements. Joel's room, however, is devoid of these kinds of excesses. While he does have a few trophies for spelling and attendance, they are few and far between.

What Joel does excel in is making other peole smile and providing joy in their lives. His potential may not include playing football or saving lives as a doctor or developing a new invention or entertaining thousands but how many of us can actually claim to transform a room with openness and instant acceptance? While most of us remain busy accomplishing and meeting our goals and trying to make a difference in the world in some dynamic and real way, it is Joel who does the most by virtue of his gifts.

When asked who is his best friend, he always answers "everyone." He loves everyone and those who take the time to know him, love him back.

We will never give up on Joel. We will always see his potential and help him reach as high as he can. While his "highest" may not be the same definition as other people's definition, in many ways, Joel's accomplishments may in fact be the greater than most. We continue to provide a loving, warm, firm, disciplined, but compassionate environment for Joel, and mostly, to see the potential for Joel and in Joel. While autism itself is incurable, it is educable. Nurturing, guiding, and helping are for Joel the water that helps him grow.

Although the difficult times (and there are many of those) give us a moment's pause, we continue to move forward with the "water" without regard of the time, energy, and expense. I often remind my boys not to be more trouble than they are worth. The truth is they and all children are always worth the trouble!

I finish my sitting on the front porch and I see the potential in Joel and I remind myself that our heavenly father does not give up on us and always sees our potential. I, in turn, will not give up on Joel. I will always see his worth. Though the grass may wither without care, our son Joel will thrive as his family and friends continue to pour love upon him.