The Cry for Help

What parent would turn down a cry for help from a son or daughter? The answer is easy: no parent. When your child needs you, you are there for them. At times you might make the decision to delay the help as a teaching tool or to encourage self-reliance or individual choice; yet in the end, you provide the love and support needed.

Joel, however, has an unusual support base in his cry for help. Joel is fortunate to have two brothers who look out for him, two brothers who guide him, two brothers who love him, and help him. His older brother, Jacob, balances the need to teach Joel independence while also offering him appropriate help when necessary. Jacob always drops what he is doing to listen to Joel, and is very quick to take him places, talk to him, and help him with homework. Jacob is consistently patient with Joel and dedicated to providing him with a warm loving brotherly environment. Not that Jacob is always easy on Joel. Jacob works to teach him independence, appropriate behavior, conversational ease, priorities, and time management. Jacob recognizes the vast influence he has over Joel and uses that knowledge in a multitude of positive ways.

Jordan has had a little rougher time adjusting to having an autistic brother. Joel towers above him and until recently has been stronger and faster than Jordan. And Jordan has viewed autism as primarily a behavioral issue rather than a neurological, sociological, and educational one. Although Joel wants to spend time with Jordan, he does not know how to play normal games or have normal conversations which then results in a type of pestering behavior that is annoying and irritating. Yet, as Jordan continues to mature physically and emotionally, he finds himself in a position of helping, guiding, and mentoring Joel. Jordan’s inherent creativity finds fruition in developing alternative means of communication and brotherly activities. It is always a joy to see Joel and Jordan interacting in a multitude of positive ways.

All three brothers are very protective of each other in all situations. Jacob and Jordan are always watching out for Joel and insuring that people treat him well and that he is not creating any kind of problem for himself. I always smile when I see a glare from Jacob toward anyone giving the appearance of not treating Joel well. The boys have an unusual bond that can be attributed to living under an umbrella of love and trust and dealing with the constant challenges of autism. Their love and patience with Joel is evident at home, at church, at school, and at social situations. With this patience and understanding has come a strong compassionate altruism for those less fortunate and for those with learning problems.

The cry for help from Joel is answered by his brothers through their devoted attention to his development. But ironically, the ultimate help once again is Joel helping them. For in their work to offer Joel patience, love, trust, and guidance, they inadvertently grow in character and substance. The intertwining of lives through selfless giving to those in need, is mutually beneficial to everyone. Jacob and Jordan are better people because of Joel, and Joel is fortunate to have two of the greatest brothers a person could ever have.