Defenestrating the Past

Without hesitation, I grabbed the jacket out of the back of the pickup and tossed it in the garbage bin. Although I did not officially throw it out of the window, I did rather figuratively defenestrate a part of my past. It was my high school letter jacket. Blue and gold, replete with large letters demonstrating my years in choir, band, and orchestra. Medals from contests, patches from district, region, and Baptist All-State bands, various festivals, concerts, and events most of which I cannot remember.

The dusty jacket was worn once in college in November of 1978 and I can recall the threat I received from an older (and much bigger!) college student. He said if he ever saw me in that jacket again, he would rip it into shreds and knock me around until I couldn't walk! He was a pretty mean guy but I did take it seriously. So I have not worn it since that day. As I was about to toss it in the bin, I really only had one memory that made me smile--my size. I was very thin in those days and most of my weight was in my hair. My how things have changed!

I suppose I had some pride in my jacket at one point in my life. I was active in organizations in high school and had a modicum of success as a musician. Whoop-de-doo and cheers to me. I got a jacket, decorated it like a Christmas tree, wore it around my senior year to keep warm (as though I needed it in El Paso, Texas!), and then put it away until today where it found residence in the dump. Did my defenestration of the jacket diminish me in any way? No. Did my keeping it for years elevate me in any way? No. It was just an organized system of threads primarily for maintaining warmth. Not that I am against letter jackets, and in point of fact I believe letter jackets are important to remind students of the value of dedication and self-esteem. I hope we continue to give honor to high school students and I hope we always find ways to recognize their achievements.

But it is also equally valuable to let go and defenestrate the past. We are shaped by our past and there is great psychological benefit to remembering successes, triumphs, and affirmations. Everybody needs an "attaboy" and a high school letter jacket provides that pat on the back. Yet to live in the past, relying on old successes to determine present circumstances is flawed thinking. Too often I believe we tend to dwell on those events--good and bad--and allow the past to govern our current way of thinking. I smile when I think about the past successes, and I frown when I consider the past mistakes and failures.

The smile, however, is simply a smile and no more than that. Today is real, today is alive, and today is the day to consider. Time to let go of the past. Nod at it, respect it, learn from it, but also defenestrate it!