Walmart Ambiguity

Pulling into the parking lot where I luckily found a spot about 200 yards from the front door, I parked and headed into Walmart to purchase one item--a small box of garbage bags. As I made my way back to the farthest reaches of the behemoth superstore, I nearly collided with three shopping carts, nearly tripped on an article of clothing someone had thrown down, got lost and wandered down 2 aisles full of containers of some kind, marveled at the large signs on every display, apologized four times for being in someone's way, was apologized two times for someone else being in my way, and found myself on the back wall examining the multitude of choices for garbage bags. Finding the preferred box of bags, I then dodged more shopping carts, lots of people, several displays and found an open cash register. For the first time in memory, I did not have to wait long to pay and leave the store. By comparison to the past, it was a grand experience in all respects. I was not exhausted, I only avoided being run over in the parking lot three times, I did not step on gum on the pavement, and did not feel a desperation to wash my hands after touching too many items. I left the parking lot with a half smile and for the first time in recent years, I did not vow never to return.

Yet once again I was miserable in my little shopping escapade. Too many selfish people, products too close together, unhappy workers, unhappy shoppers, lots of costume jewelry, trinkets, overly packaged useless products, too many nearly colisions, and a feeling of desperation on the faces of many people as they buy happiness from their children, their spouses, their friends, and yes themselves. The parking lot has loose carts around, trash on the ground, used discarded diapers, cigarette butts, and a constant circle of cars hoping to get close to the door to avoid walking very far. Any joy in me for shopping was effectively eradicated by the miserable experience of commercialism and clutter, by a feeling of disgust, by modern conveniences, and by people doing exactly as I was doing, saving a few dollars in a megastore.

Of course, I do need to be honest about this. I could have gone to a smaller store in town and likely found what I needed. I probably would have paid a little more and I might not have found exactly what I was seeking. Or for that matter I could shop all over town until I found something similar. Or maybe I could even create my own garbage bags out of discarded clothes or an old tarp in the storage building. I am, after all, somewhat industrious, and not necessarily dependent on store bought items all the time. But instead I chose the easy, convenient route by stopping at Walmart and getting what I needed. Complain I might, but nobody coerced me at gunpoint to shop at Walmart. Walmart has built an empire catering to the needs of the people and providing goods and services at one location for a cheap price. I and billions of others have benefited from their business model, a model designed for success and a model example of supply and demand. My admiration and my money often find residence at Walmart and to repress my respect for this institution is to be dishonest.

But complain I must, for to spend time at Walmart is to chip away at my independence and my solitude, my personality, and the essence of individuality. Therein lies the ambiguity of a love/hate relationship with the very place that helps make our lives better and easier. Maybe next time I will find my garbage bags somewhere, but for today, Walmart was the answer.