Joel at McDonalds

I enjoy taking Joel to McDonalds for breakfast and then running errands with him, but there are several challenges that accompany the experience. In the truck, Joel insists on listening to the Symphony station and really does not like any other kind of music. I have worked hard to teach him to accept other kinds of music, but mostly he just tolerates it, frustrated until we return to the Symphony station. I think he enjoys "picking" out the various kinds of instruments being played. He does not like the sounds of a trap set or an electric guitar. Related to this idea of the Symphony station is his hope to hear music composed by an Italian. When he does, that sets of a series off "Italian" discussions about food, composers, and "when are we going to Italy, Dad?"

When we get in the truck, he immediately puts the climate control on 70 degrees on his side and 74 on my side. Not sure why. He then begins counting the number of places and runs through them for me later in the day. "Dad, we went to 8 places--convenient store, McDonalds, bank, grocery store, AT&T store, laundromat, grocery store, and Home Depot." Joel tends to number things in his mind that fit broad categories. He does this with food, steps, movies, and various kinds of events.

Arriving at McDonalds, I order the same thing as always for him: hotcakes and sausage with a medium Mocha Frappe. We then sit down with our food and I cut up the hotcakes and sausage and pour syrup on everything. He then stares at me until I remember to go back and ask for a spoon. He insists on eating the Frappe with a spoon and to do so before eating the hotcakes and sausage. Once he gets a spoon, it all happens quickly until the Frappe followed by the food is completely gone. Happy, we head back to the truck for the errands, listening to Symphonies, talking about Italian music, and me explaining why we can't live in Italy next year.

We have learned to accept Joel for who he is and to enjoy his quirks at least to an extent. Sometimes they are frustrating and are always rather confusing and mysterious, but they also remind us that Joel is not wired like most people. He looks at life differently and has his own kind of ordering system. He struggles with time and space and has very little concept of the passing of time or why we cannot simply move to Italy. In his world, his goals tend to be immediate and are based primarily on his own narrow preferences. Generally unaware of his surroundings, he requires a great deal of routine and security. At the same time, he loves seeing friends and will often be the one "working the crowd" everywhere we go. The "Sunny Sparkle" smile continues to work magic in social settings. People may not understand the quirks and odd preferences, but they do understand the smile!