Autism and Cell Phones

It was with some reservation and curiosity that we finally purchased our 19 year old autistic son a cell phone this Christmas. Our reservations were primarily based on his ability to manipulate the sequence and order required to make and answer calls, to set up contacts, and to send text messages, plus the responsibility of keeping up with it. But the need to have ease of communication, knowing where he is, and giving him a sense of security, all added up to his having a cell phone. I went to the cell phone store to pick one out with the typical concerns of price, size, style, color, screen, and all those things that make each phone unique. After a confusing 30 minutes of a salesman explaining the differences, I landed on a little flip phone with a choice of red, black, or blue. Settling on the blue one and picking the contract system for the next year, I took it home and gift wrapped it (okay, my wife actually wrapped it), and placed it under the tree.

Christmas morning he opened it up and with his typical stoic reaction, said thank you and proceeded to some other gifts. After all was done, I turned to Joel and asked him if he liked his new cell phone. He of course said yes and in his customary, understated manner mentioned that he liked all his gifts equally and was glad it was Christmas. I knew I would need to show him some things about the phone but wasn't entirely sure how to go about teaching him the basics. Luckily, his younger brother who is 16 decided to take it on himself to teach Joel. Remember that virtually every behavior and action must be taught to autistics. This is due to their lack of perception of social behavior and their general lack of creative curiosity. In addition, while they enjoy new things, they usually do not have an innate desire to explore and discover, or at least the knowledge needed for such endeavors.

But Joel's brother, Jordan, jumped in and created family contacts plus a few friends, taught him how to answer the phone, and taught him how to send a text message. I then showed Joel how to place the phone in the holster and how to attach it to the belt. He now walks around with his phone on his side, wearing a tie, and a slight swagger, with a kind of pride demonstrating that he has arrived in the world! When we call him or send him a message, he is a bit slow at responding but in his cautious way, does get the job done.

I realize now that given the right instructions, the right circumstances, and mostly lots of patience, Joel can learn how to navigate through a cell phone. I also recognize how much security this gives him and mostly us as we prepare him for the working world. If he will keep it with him, we will always know where he is and how is doing. At the same time, it is also our continued goal and responsibility to help him be as independent as possible and make his own decisions. The cell phone is an ideal way for us to monitor his activities a little, yet give him room to make his own mistakes and his own successes. But we are only a call away from helping him if he is in a predicament, or lost, or frightened. Obviously, more teaching of when to use it is needed, but in general my comfort level about this new item for Joel is quite high.

In conclusion, I believe that autistic adults need and deserve a cell phone, but they also need careful teaching on appropriate usage. Mostly, autistic adults and children must have someone or many someone's who love and care about them. Sometimes loving and caring takes the form of allowing effort and encouraging independence. In our case, the cell phone just may be the right tool for this delicate yet joyful balance.