My position on angels and their existence was asked of me the other day. I answered that I believed in them but did not understand them. Being of a somewhat cautious, suspicious nature with leanings toward cynicism, believing in angels does not come lightly nor easily to me; yet there are events that seem to be undeniably guided by unseen forces and shaped by mystery and magic that is difficult to label and impossible to define. Acknowledging such forces that operate outside the realm of the sensing reality that encompasses our perception is antithetical to the power philosophy we love to embrace. In other words, we like to think we are in control of all facets of our life. But in truth, we are not. There are simply too many unexplained events that demonstrate how little control we actually have.
This does not mean that we are devoid of free will or that the concept of choice and human experience is all predetermined, but it does mean that overt and external circumstances cannot always be planned or ordered in advance. It has been said that we are shaped by events and that our reactions define our character and that life happens when we are making other plans. Be that as it may, superior minds have dealt with the concept of free will without any kind of conclusion and it is my contention that our daily activities belong to us to an extent but our destiny is not our own. I am comfortable in this hybrid zone of free will and choice versus predeterminacy and lack of free will. A theologian (which I am not) would say it is Arminianism versus Calvinism. For me, a utilitarian (at least for now until I find another term to describe my oddly eclectic philosophy of the world), I prefer to accept those strange but joyous events as being glorious yet sporadic divergences exhibited and practiced by angels with some sort of higher functional and pragmatic application.
We, the Tucker family, have kept them busy over the years, maybe even to an exhaustive level. One rather dramatic incident occurred when our son Joel, autistic since birth, was 3 years old. He was dropped off at a friend's house while my wife, a viola player, was at a rehearsal. The house was a new construction of two stories including a children's game room on the 2nd story. Because of fire code, windows are required to be easily opened from the inside. Unfortunately, this means that a firm push on any window will result in that window opening. As the children were playing, Joel pushed against the window, which caused it to open, and he went falling from the window all the way to the ground 2 stories below.
All the children and neighbors heard the cry for help and rushed outside only to see Joel lying on the ground crying. Because of the potential disaster, everyone was afraid to move him for fear of adding problems to any broken bones. Clairissa coincidentally drove up a few minutes later, saw the crowd gathered and asked what was wrong. Upon hearing her voice, Joel got up and ran, yes ran, to her sobbing. She embraced him and in a broken voice, the owner of the home said tearfully he had fallen from the 2nd story window. Clairissa immediately put him in the car and took him to the hospital for x-rays. Aside from a scratch on the back from the window sill, there were no other injuries. He was not hurt at all and within a short time was back to being his same rambunctious self.
As I reflect on this incident, I remain convinced that an angel's hand gently lowered Joel to the ground and offered him protection and comfort. He is surrounded by angels who often have to work diligently to keep him safe from harm. And that is why I believe in angels. I do not understand them, I cannot see them, I do not know if there are many or few of them, or whether they are large or small, male or female, or anything about them, but I am comforted to know that they watch out for Joel. We will do our part to keep them from having to work too hard, but in those rare cases, I appreciate their willingness to step in. I do know this, they are timeless, eternal, ever present, and amaranthine with a beautiful forever quality that defies explanation.
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