A Week of Downers

The death of four people I know made it a week of downers. Funerals are not my favorite event to attend and I especially do not like that I will not see those people again here on earth. One was 24, one was quite elderly and the other two nearing retirement age. All were parents, all had family, all had friends, all made an impact on the world. I spent the week with a heavy heart, sympathizing with their families, counseling students, counseling myself, and rethinking priorities of life. Suddenly the little myopic problems of being an administrator did not seem all that important. On top of the heavy emotions, I was criticized for something I did not understand. Sure made for a difficult week.

But there were many great things as well. I love directing the Brady choir which combines First Baptist Church, First United Methodist Church, and other interested parties. We are preparing for a Christmas event that promises to be a grand and glorious expression celebrating the birth of Christ. As I prepared for Wednesday night's rehearsal, I was tired, grouchy, and really had very little joy in my heart for the rehearsal. But seeing the bright, happy faces and experiencing the infectious joy of the people changed me for the better, and I responded in kind, reminding me that rehearsals are an important part of the musical journey to the performance and further reminding me that making music is about the people and the sharing of our gifts with each other. The grief isolation I was experiencing was put aside for a few minutes and I found myself in a musical embrace with other people.

Now at the end of week I am in Arizona at a music convention (convention is the appropriate word since this gathering of music executives is generally conventional!) where we learn how to be better music executives. We learn about curriculum, technology, trends, and general focus for music units across the country. We also reconnect with friends, making some new ones along the way, perhaps sharing ideas and problems with each other. We eat food that is a little too expensive, but tasty and we sit in meetings taking notes hoping to find something useful to bring back with us to our places of employment.

In a way though, this convention is allowing me to heal a little from the difficult week and to rejuvenate my administrative responsibilities. Spending some time writing music, studying documents, relaxing, thinking, and learning is helping me to see world as a bright, wonderful place once again. The vastness of the sky, the beauty of nature, the complex but warm people, and the comfort of knowing my family is home safe and sound, all work together to demonstrate the joy that resides within us, the joy that needs to be expressed, the joy that deserves an opportunity to shine forth.

And joyful I am for my life and for the lives of friends, family, students, colleagues, and the world in which we reside. I smile in earnest and put aside the downers of the week. The journey continues and it is a good one.