Passing of a Generation

My 91 year old grandmother, who we always called Sallie, after nearly 8 years in a nursing home, passed away leaving behind two daughters and three grandsons. She was the last of my grandparents. Prior to her stroke and the onset of Alzeimers, she was a happy lady with a definite and pointed worldview. She was not swayed by the technology surrounding our current culture, but was instead shaped by the hands-on experiences of her life. Hers was the generation before the computer age, before cell phones, even before remote controls, multiple television channels, before immediate and instant communication, before automation of all kinds shapes and sizes.

I recall trying to show her how to use a computer. She of excellent typing skills and office management ability could not deal with the computer, with its odd keyboard, quietness, strange screen, and memory bank. Her inability to comprehend the new robot-like machine led to a general suspicion of its worthiness and ultimately caused its rejection as having any value for her life. She was comfortable with a pen and paper and that comfort level remained throughout most of her life until she could no longer hold a pen. She wrote letters, long letters full of the kind of detail that keeps the mind sharp.

She preferred the dial telephone where you place your finger in the number hole and go around until it stops, but she did accept the new approach of actually touching the numbers and creating tone. She did enjoy talking on the phone with the exception that long distance calls were kept at a minimum due to the costs incurred. She never could escape the fear of the great depression and somehow felt that dollars even pennies should be guarded very carefully. At the same time her reliance on the government to solve the world's problems took her to liberal heights not often found in other family members. She continually supported the democratic party and when asked why, she would say, "You had to be there to understand." She and many others had to place their trust in FDR and that trust got extended to the government at large, a trust that remained throughout her life.

The television was a source of great joy but only for the three channels available. When more channels became the norm, she rejected them, keeping channels 4, 9, and 12 as the reigning champions of television. In addition to the local news and weather, the best channel was the one showing the Dallas Cowboys with Tom Landry and Roger Staubach at the helm, men she knew on a first name basis! Of course commercials brought with them opportunities to serve cake and cookies which had been prepared that morning in the midst of getting ready for a massive meal.

And my grandmother probably never ate the massive meal since the glasses were always filled with tea and the rolls never quit showing up on our plates. Her roving eyes to make sure all were eating and all were happy would land, sometimes with harsh judgment, on the person who was not eating. Meat, vegetables, and bread must all be eaten until there was no more room at which time the pies would arrive. Surrounding this bevy of food was conversation ranging from normal family stuff to local business. From my grandfather, whom we called Ray, a man who knew no strangers and liked everyone he met, I learned about the rich, the poor, the politicians, the lawyers, the Chinese, Mexicans, African-Americans, Indians, Whites, and occasionally some races I didn't know existed. I also learned about property, canned goods, Farah slacks, and the latest car design. Mainly I learned how to love each other in spite of our flaws and to listen carefully for there are always gems of truth to be gleaned in most conversations!

They are gone now, Sallie and Ray, and I miss the old days at times. I miss the constant tuneless whistle Sallie would offer when in the kitchen. I miss the hustle and bustle of meals, of Christmas, of camping trips, and yes even mowing their lawn. I miss the clank of the pipe as my grandfather emptied it, replacing old tobacco for a fresh batch, and I miss the burning of the match as it nearly ignited his finger before a quick flick of the wrist extinguished the flame. Mostly I miss the smiles, the energy, and the unconditional love of my grandparents.

We are now in a new dimension and one that the older generation never did embrace. It is replete with texting, computer searching, youtube videos, email, cell phones, talking cars, automatic lights, complicated kitchen items for ease of cooking, laptops, desktops, and information right at your fingertips. All these things are a part of our everyday lives and make our lives both richer and more complicated. Yet let us not forget that joy doesn't come from the things we see and touch. Joy comes from the love we receive and give to others. Sallie and Ray gave us love and that is what I will miss the most. Thank you!