Is instant communication via the internet, cell phones, texting, messaging, and the general synchronicity of our world actually creating a new generation of more considerate people? I don't think I am imagining that people are improving their general manners and treatment of each other. The other day, I pulled out of the dry cleaners and apparently was slow in doing so, and I suppose the driver coming the other direction felt I had interrupted her busy schedule since she had to slow down to accommodate my inability to navigate my automobile without moving into oncoming traffic. Subsequently, she honked her horn, causing me to turn in surprise at her presence, which caused me to see her using a different finger from her pointing finger and gesturing toward something which I assumed was me.
My temptation to exit the car and have a discussion with her was curbed when her face registered some kind of recognition. Being in college administration, it is not unusual for people to know me before I know them. The young lady in question quickly averted her gaze and moved forward preventing me to have any kind of face to face interaction. Later, thinking through that episode, I suspect any encounter would have been filled with apologies from both parties, for discord can escalate in unfamiliar situations but many people adopt a more euphonious attitude with friends or acquaintances. Further reflection made me realize that I have not experienced nor witnessed "road rage" in quite a long time.
Recently, after driving several hours in order to judge a marching band contest, and being in a location where I did not expect to know many people, I heard my name called and looked over to see a friend of my youngest son smiling broadly. We had met earlier in the summer, and she was a facebook and texting friend of my son. We proceeded to have a pleasant conversation, and I was looking forward to telling Jordan hello from her and let him know how she was doing. The next morning I woke Jordan to give him the message and he smiled and said, "I know Dad, she told me five minutes after you had talked with her." I realized that had I not been pleasant or said something rude for whatever reason, or not recognized her, my son would have known within 5 minutes!
Our collective society is so connected that we can no longer operate in a vacuum, oblivious to our own insensitivities or our own seemingly rude behavior. Each action witnessed or experienced by others can be and just might be expressed within moments anywhere in the world. We cannot hide from ourselves nor others in this time of instant communication, in this age of almost endless forms of technological expression. On the down side, perhaps this forces us into a plastic kind of ersatz existence where our real self is but a shadow of the outward appearance, a world of darkness and imitation. An imitation of who we really are with dire negative consequences. In this case the price extracted for our mendacity is a squelching of emotions with a slow but deliberate destruction of the inner psyche that resides deep in the soul.
Conversely, one has to wonder if maybe, just maybe, the immediate communication of our world actually reminds us to be polite, compassionate, friendly, supportive, and selfless. Is it possible that our awareness of behavior that can be known by all, our concern that what we do cannot be hidden, and our fear that our human frailty is visible, ultimately serves as a mirror, a reflection of who we are. Unlike Dorian Gray whose conduct is demonstrated on his private portrait, never to be seen by anyone, our own behavior, positive or negative, becomes conspicuous by virtue of technology. Perhaps frightening or perhaps comforting, nevertheless, it is true that what you just could be known by others in a very short period of time.
What are the results of this instantaneous communication? Fear, anger, paranoia, insecurity? Or could it force us to act more mature, to be kind, to be helpful, to be compassionate, and to think carefully before acting? Is this actually an example of human improvement and refinement?
1 comment:
One thing that I am really attempting to do is to abstain from performing psychological judgments on others...that is, putting them in a box. My tendency is to judge others by placing them in a neat compartment:
1. People that are rude while driving are envious of their "betters" and this is their one chance to have power over others.
2. People who block the aisles at Walmart and treat the cashiers poorly do so because they are servants of the welfare state and have a false sense of entitlement.
3. People who disagree with me are obviously of lower intelligence.
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