Why Can't He Sing?

Having grown up in a family of singers, I unfortunately was not blessed with a beautiful voice; yet I was blessed, if one can call it a blessing, to have a great zeal and love of singing along with a general love of music. My somewhat nasal sounding, rattly voice does not deter me from frequently applying my love of music and the "natural" instrument God has given me to a multitude of circumstances, including but not limited to, showers, driving, walking, shopping, and maybe thinking out loud (much to the chagrin of my friends.) But the question on the table today is not about me but rather about Joel, our 18 year old autistic son.

He has never sung a note. He loves music and discusses it frequently (I smile as I think about this morning when he said, "How about 'I'd Do Anything'?" Not understanding his question at first, I remembered discussion in the car the day before when we were trying to decide the best song from the musical "Oliver!") and with great interest. He has a special love for organ music and hymns but also gravitates to marches played by a band. A musical highlight for Joel is getting to hear a march played on the organ. With his enjoyment of organ music, comes frequent practicing on the organ and the piano with most of the music being hymns of various types and in various keys.

So why doesn't he sing? Is it due to a fear of failure or does he actually lack the ability to sing? I have heard a few people who could not seem to match pitch, which implies a judgment on my part, but I do not think I have encountered someone who simply cannot do it. Obviously, a person without the ability to speak would also lack the ability to sing. But this also brings to mind the odd cases of people who stutter when they speak but can sing without hesitation (Mel Tillis, and Carly Simon to name two). Yet, those people and there are many, can and do sing with success and more importantly, enjoyment. The obvious answer to this mystery is that singing requires a slightly different part of the brain than speaking. But is it really that simple?

There has been much research relating psychology and singing that reference the benefits of singing for mental health, for physiological gain, and for general peace and welfare of the individual countenance, and I find this to be generally true for most people. Singing is a creative venture that requires memory, expression, emotional cognition, depth of thought, a sensitive awareness of the environment, and sense of goal-direction and purpose. We sing as an expression of our feelings, our deepest thoughts, our emotions, as a way to put shape and form to our joys and fears, our optimism and our sorrows. Singing does all that and more. But, coincidentally and unfortunately, the act of singing uses all the faculties that are missing or weakened in autism--a disability that tends to affect the ability for creative expression of emotions.

So Joel does feel what we feel and experience what we experience, but when he tries to express those events in an emotional way, he gets blocked by the weakness in the central nervous system, that area of the brain that allows and encourages the outer expression of feelings. He cannot sing because he cannot demonstrate his deepest emotions. Are they in him? Yes, without a doubt. He cares, he fears, he loves, he worries, he reaches out, and he is comfortable in his skin. But he cannot sing and while it is hard to understand, it is simply a characteristic that makes him who he is--Joel Tucker.