Canine Capers

After I became a father of three boys, I wanted to own a dog. A dog is one of those important pets that a boy can enjoy, play with, talk to, spend time with, do retrieve games, or fetch, or learn responsibility of feeding and care. A dog loves his owner and has a boundless optimism that can give a young man a lift. In short, a dog may indeed be man's best friend, but at the Tucker household, a dog is not a friend, he is not even an acquaintance!

Our first dog was named Johnny. We got him as a puppy and he was adorable in all respects. Energetic, cute, and demonstrated those warm characteristics associated with dogs. We played with him for an hour until it was time for the little guy to take a nap. We then loaded up the car with the boys and headed about a mile away to the store to get a little house, bowl, some food, and a couple of toys for the cute little thing. We picked out a green bowl, a charming little house, some puppy chow, and the kind of chewy toys that would provide hours of endless puppy pleasure. Driving home, we discussed responsibility and various dog behavior to expect, the jumping, chewing, waste management, food needs, and the necessary occasional hug; but the boys, although they listened to an extent, were mainly overcome with excitement of having a new dog. We arrived home about an hour after we left only to find no dog. He was gone. Perhaps stolen or escaped to another yard or whisked away to dog cyberspace, forcing us to spend the evening and part of the next day searching. But, no surprise, he was never to be found.

Several months later, it was time to try again. This time we elected to acquire a large dog, one that could not squeeze under a fence and one that would be easy to find if he were to escape. His name was Smokey and he was a friendly, lovable German Shepherd. The first week (yes, we kept this one more than an hour), was rewarding and fun as we got to know him. Jacob, who was 4 at the time did become concerned with Smokey's tendency to run in the house when we opened the door, and developed a method for keeping him outside. Jacob placed cough drops on the back patio, opened the back door which caused Smokey to rush in, but Jacob quickly threw some sand in his face which resulted in a coughing dog. Smokey then exited the house to find the cough drops. Although this method did not go entirely as planned, it certainly made sense to all of us!

But, alas, Smokey became unmanageable. After a couple of weeks, he began to jump on every person who entered the back yard. His sheer size was overwhelming and the boys were knocked over by the crazy dog. Soon it was my responsibility to feed him and care for him but my heart for doing so was not in the right place. A few days later, Smokey chewed through the air conditioner wires and nearly ruined our air conditioner, resulting in a repair bill of several hundred dollars. The shock he received from that experience could not have been as great as the shock to my wallet. I then, wisely, found another home for him.

About two years later, we acquired a small but full-grown cocker spaniel and enjoyed her company quite a bit at first. Her name was Dolly and she was adorable and pleasant to be around. We were told that she had most likely experienced some tough times in her first few months but she was now doing well. We loved and cared for her. My first inkling of a problem, problem may not be the best term since most problems have a solution, or least a plan, occurred one night when I heard constant and voluminous, a shocking fortissimo that in retrospect seemed remarkable considering her small size, barking that kept me up most of the night as I tried in vain to encourage her to keep her opinions to herself. After struggling several weeks, and trying different options, including a collar that makes a high, uncomfortable sound when the dog barks, and after receiving several complaints from neighbors, I finally realized Dolly, like Smokey, was nuts. We found another home for Dolly with some country friends.

We then enjoyed a brief spell with a one-eyed brown cocker spaniel who was undoubtedly the finest dog in my experience. We found her shivering on our driveway on July 5, apparently frightened from the fireworks of the previous evening, and named her Jessica. She was calm, friendly, quiet, cordial, didn't eat much, and stayed in the backyard, endearing herself to our family and to the boys who loved her. Unfortunately, three weeks later, I was reading through the newspaper and saw an ad from some people searching for a missing one-eyed brown cocker spaniel who answered to the name Lucy. I said the name Lucy to Jessica who responded the same as always, called the number, and waited for the original owners to come pick up their dog.

We are now on dog number five named Freddy. He was purchased to guard and herd our massive, okay not really massive but twelve goats is massive compared to one goat I suppose, goat herd and mostly to protect them from harm. Like a father who is firm but loving to his children, the expectation was for Freddy to guide, direct, and discipline the goats into goat excellence. But Freddy, and I wish our other dogs had this same quality, loves humans. He will not stay in the fenced area and therefore is not fulfilling his specially designed purpose. He is useless as a goat dog and useful as man's best friend. We do not have a yard for him,he is much too large for the house, nor do I want a best friend who is a dog. Freddy's days at Tuckerland are numbered. We found another family anxious and set up for a people dog.

So after five dogs, it may be time to give up. I do wonder if the world is going to the dogs! Their many capers are beyond my comprehension.